Help with past bulling!

by Joshinaz 10 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Joshinaz

  Hey guys. I need to speak about something that has haunted me in the past and has affected me still today.

  In school from 3rd to 8th grade I have been severly bullied because I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. Kids everyday would beat and me call me "JO-HO" and chant the name on the school grounds, and the school bus EVERYDAY without stop! I would place myself in front of the teachers while at recess as the kids would surround me, tackle me, and beat me EVERYDAY! I would ask the teachers why they didn't punish the kids as the bulling was wide spead across the school, and I saw the teachers turn their backs as the events happened. Their response was "They could not watch everyone on the playground". I have also asked my parents to change my school as I would come home with severe bruises on me, pleading with them to interfere. Their response was that I should be thankfull I was being persecuted because that ment I was doing the right thing! This was 20 years ago. Today I have left the religon and have not only been isolated by by former peers but now by my family. The events that happened still effect me on a daily basis. Is there anything I can do leagly as a adult today?
• 

  AlphaMan

  Sorry you had to deal with that type of bullying in the past. Now the bully in your life is this evil religion we all use to be a part of. Hope you see that the Watchtower Society is the one who actually caused you to be bullied in the past. There was no need for the kooky stand they would make kids take in school, like no holidays or birthdays, no love of country or involvement in school sports or clubs.
• 

  konceptual99

  Really really sorry to hear of this. I endured a certain amount of bullying at school but nothing close to that level.

  I really don't think there is alot that you can do legally but it might be helpful to go and talk to someone about it. Do you have any way of getting in touch with old contacts from school? It is not unknown for people to feel sorry for how they treated others when they were at school and you may get apologies - perhaps even form new friendships!

  How about speaking to your parents as well? Time can change the views of people and they may not realise how affected you are by your upbringing. It may bring you closer.

  Chin up fella! There are plenty here who are looking out for you!
• 

  AnnOMaly

  I partially disagree with AlphaMan. Although the WTS has made it so that kids are unnecessarily distanced and different from regular kids, there is absolutely no justification for kids to inflict that kind of daily torment on another kid, and it is outrageous that the school (and your parents!) did nothing to address the problem. It doesn't matter if a kid is JW, Muslim, a whirling dervish, gay, black, short, myopic, ginger, s/he shouldn't be subjected to bullying. I'm angry for you Joshinaz. I think you need to talk to a professional to help untangle all your feelings, come to terms with what happened and help you move through it.
• 

  jgnat

  Yes, talking to a counsellor, a good counsellor, can help you reframe your past so it does not continue to interfere with your joy in life. If the counsellor does not relate to you, makes you feel pressured, or does nothing as so many authorities have in your past, people who should have protected you, find another counsellor.
• 

  Stealth

  If there was a primary ring leader who instigated the bulling, I would do some reasearch find where he is today and go give him the beat down he deserves.

  You may or may not feal better in doing so.... I would.
• 

  Ding

  I agree that schools often do little to prevent bullying.

  I doubt that there's anything you can do legally all these years later.

  Your best option is probably to work through the issues with a professional counselor or therapist so you can put it behind you and move forward with your life.
• 

  AlphaMan

  I partially disagree with AlphaMan.

  AnnOMaly......there is no justification for bullying. Joshinaz was bullied because he was a JW kid. My point is the WTS makes it very easy for JW kids to be bullied, because the Watchtower leaders have always sat in an ivory tower and come up with these kooky beliefs that caused kids to get bullied in school. This religion is a bunch of BS and these kooky JW beliefs are BS. His bullying took place 20 years ago and longer, when bullying was not watched as closely by schools & teachers. The bullies were wrong then, but the Watchtower leaders are still wrong now.
• 

  Band on the Run

  There was racial bullying in junior high school and high school. The academic track students were neutral. I just wanted to get along with people. We did in the academic track. We were attacked directly in front of teachers of our own race who did nothing. Even at the time it happened, I had utter disgust for the teachers. I understood why we were targets to some other students. Their behavior was wrong.

  It was so prolonged we decided to ask for help as a group. I guess we were afraid to ask for our safety. It wasn't one on one. We approached teachers who lived in our neighborhood that we perceived as professional and fair. The teachers refused to help us. Finally, years later, we let it slip out in an argument with a local teacher who was also a politician. He called in the chief bully and ask if any of us had done anything to cause her to harm us. She cried, "No," and expressed true remorse. We never bullied again. I can imagine it is much easier to be part of a group than so alone.

  Bullying is so rampant. A counselor might help a lot. Perhaps getting in touch with one of antibullying celebrity orgs. would also help. Friends who were bullied explain the enormous impact it had on their lives. My family had to sell a home to get away from an urban ghetto b/c my sister was terrorized. Behind closed doors, the guidance counselor told my mom that she was doing the right thing. The school had become much worse.

  My grandmother was also one who advocated her children having persecution experiences. My mom and uncle were expelled from school for flag salute. They also had to practice their speeches for when the Gestapo came to the door in New Jersey.

  My experience was limited. Some bullying is prob. inescapable. Adults not acting are worse than the bullies.
• 

  rebel8

  You could check into child abuse statutes of limitation in your state, and if it's not up, call in a report stating the teachers permitted the abuse. I guess you'd have to ask yourself, what is my goal and will this accomplish it?

  Human children, along with many animals, are mean. It's the job of adults to teach them how not to give in to that behavior, and to prevent them from doing so.

  The past is still bothering you today. Justice is not a bad thing but it doesn't heal emotional wounds. Counseling can help you do that.