What is the best for the child if father knows TTATT and mother is a devout JW?

by Daniel1555 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  Daniel1555

  Hi friends

  I would like to know your opinion on the following:

  Situation:

  Father is a JW who is awakened and who fully knows TTATT; mother is a devout JW; child is 1 years old.

  Father and mother stay together no matter if father leaves JW or not.

  What do you think is best for the welfare of the child as he grows up?

  1. Father knows TTATT and stays in (attending meetings etc), pretending everything is fine. Mother expects father to study with child and to conduct faith strengthening family worship. Mother indoctrinates child and expects father to do the same. Child has to live a JW life.

  2. Father knows TTATT and is out for good (da or df). Mother indoctrinates child. Father is able to speak freely with child as everybody knows he is out. Child hears both sides (JW and TTATT side) and will be able to make own decisions.
• 

  cofty

  Option 1 is child abuse.

  You cannot condemn a child to cult memebrship without having a plan for his/her freedom.
• 

  Scully

  Check out books, videos and podcasts featuring Dale McGowan, author of Parenting Beyond Belief. Highly recommended.

  http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/
• 

  Comatose

  If I chose option one it would be to subtly attack the beliefs even more. If you could stomach it then you could insist on doing all study since you are the scriptural head. You might even eventually help your wife in this way. Once you come out it will be full on war over your child's future.

  But, I could never choose option one as you describe.
• 

  alanv

  I have no idea what TTATT means, but certainly I would not want any child brought up as a JW. You can instill good morals into kids without the massive downside of following all the JW rules and regulations, and the massive lack of love if that kid decides to leave sometime in the future.
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  KateWild

  I am doing option 2, but I am the mother, and divorced. Option 1 is toture to yourself and lying to your child, I agree with cofty, this is abusive to the child
• 

  KateWild

  alanv, TTATT means The Truth About The Truth, JWs say their religion in "The Truth"
• 

  alanv

  Thanks Kate. I know the expression but never saw it abbreviated.
• 

  Anony Mous

  Option 1 is indeed to torture yourself and feel bad about the child, the child may become and remain a JW or may not (you've got 75% chance of that happening by itself, 90% if they go to college). But bringing a child up into any religion is indeed child abuse.

  Option 2 may and will probably result in divorce and custody proceedings (my ex said the same thing, was pressured to change her mind the day I actually stopped going to meetings) but is the best for the child and you've got a 99% chance of the child not becoming a JW.

  You need to be able to show the contrast between living a JW life and being a free person. You can't remain shackled to something you don't believe in, your children will pick up on it and may turn against you for being a hypocrite, eventually the JW's will crack down on you anyway and kick you out regardless of your good behavior - the minute you stop making 'progress' they'll start asking questions. The child will make their own choices, be a good father, be a good listener, teach your child about the wonders of life and the universe, how it ACTUALLY came to be (big bang, evolution) is a lot more intriguing and attractive to thinking people and children than saying 'god did it'.
• 

  Watchtower-Free

  If the child grows up a JW they will shun you forever along any grandchildren .

  JWs breakup families pure and simple