should I tell the CO my doubts?

Captain Blithering

Its possible I might be asked by the CO to work with him today. Hes gonna want to know why I'm holding myself back. I'm itching to tell him about my doubts (ONLY about the new light, how i cant get my head around how the HS would direct us to believe falsehoods for decades, NOT about everything, that'd be suicide!) Let me explain my reason for saying this.. I'm fading but the missus isnt. I've explained a couple of doubts to her in the past but she comes out with the old chestnuts about the love , the preaching, etc.. i know the co would tell the elders to 'strengthen' me, encourage me, just as equally as i know i wont get a satisfactory answer to my questions. But the benefit could be that 1. the missus sees that my questions havent been answered and 2. any subsequent hounding that comes my way could help her see through the love to see the true purpose of the hounding, bring every thought into line with the gb or else... Part of this is born out of frustration waiting, im losing patience. I think I already know its a bad idea and that fading quietly makes more sense but just typing it out today kinda helped sort it out in my mind. Ive nearly spoken out numerous times , I guess i just need to be more patient...

Captain Blithering

Sorry about the lack of paragraphs btw. they were there when i submitted ..

ive tried editing it post-posting. must be my browser..

yadda yadda 2

I got a better idea: just blow the CO off and say you can't make it as you're feeling unwell. Why put yourself through all this mental anguish just for this bullshit religious claptrap and brainwashed obnoxious regional sales manager CO's? I mean, why are you even bothering to go on field service at all? Just put a phoney FS report of 1.0 each month.

happy@last

Tell him your doubts and you'll be pulling the trigger. Play the ill health card is my advice.

PrincessCynic

Depends on how much you have to lose.

Personally, I have had discussions with elders about doubts. It really helped my husband wake up because he could see that my questions weren't answered.

I think it depends on the nature of the CO. If they are very reasonable it might be worth it. I chose who I spoke to carefully, it had to be an elder that valued freedom of thought and it would have caused massive cognitive dissonance to him if I was disfellowshipped for expressing genuine concerns and doubts and not left alone to fade if that was my choice.

Tread carefully and let us know how you get on.

Phizzy

I dare you !

I did it, without realising that potentially I could have triggered a huge problem, I was naive in those days. The C.O at the time was a really nice guy, and we discussed various problems I had with doctrine, mind you, there was nothing really major there, it was before my Epiphany.

He told me to continue in my excellent Field Service and serving the Congregation as I had been doing, and that my doubts would be dealt with eventually, "wait on Jehovah" was basically the advice. Thinking back on that chat, I realise he did not try to defend the teachings I had trouble with, just told me to carry on, "you are doing well".

I think from that time on though the Elders were very wary of ever elevating me to their ranks, they did not wish to have a doubter in their midst. Not that I would have accepted the job of Elder, I had made that clear already.

Be very careful, if you do decide to chat, and just ask questions.

KateWild

CB, I feel sorry for you. Its so nice to see how much you love, value and respect your dear wife. The whole fade thing isn't for you it's for her. Well done for being patient for her sake.

Well as for the CO you need to do what is right at the time, what you feel comfortable saying. Then when your lovely wifey says how was it working with the CO you can relay a particular part of the conversation that she will benefit from.

Have fun today-Kate xx

Black Sheep

Save your conversations for people who are important to you. Don't waste them on people who are going use what you say to tell your family to treat you like a piece of shit, never to be trusted again.

Calebs Airplane

About 4 years ago, I had a meeting with the COBE and the CO regarding 1975, 1935, 1914 and other subjects.

The CO was very-well briefed by the COBE so he'd arrived my home with a thick stack of paper divided into about 25 stapled-together sections. I gasped for a second as the sight of all that paper was overwhelming and I hadn't a clue what it was all about (at first).

Cutting to chase...

When the CO finally started reading these papers to me, I immediately realized that these were all Watchtower articles that I had already read from the Watchtower Library CD (and quite recently)! Each time he started reading off one of his "booklets", I'd reply: "I read that already". He'd then get flustered and starts reading another one, to which I'd reply: "I read that one also".

Before long, he ran out of ammunition and I'd fill the awkward silence with information I had read from the Proclaimers book. His reaction? He sighs, looks over at the COBE as if to say 'don't just sit there, say something' then he started flipping through his Reasoning book. I mean this CO had lost control of the situation and it became plainly obvious that he was ill-prepared to address my concerns.

He then looks at me and says: "I'll be honest. I've been so busy over the past 9 years and I've been meaning to read the Proclaimers book, but I just never had the time." He even took the opportunity to emphasize the importance of setting aside sufficient time for "personal study". He asked me if we could meet again and I said "of course". But when the time came to meet again (about 8 months later), it was too late. I was already out mentally and physically.

Poor guy. I actually felt sorry for him. He meant well. But, in the end, he realized it wasn't his usual walk in the park where he could just read off some WT rag articles and call it a day... I just wonder how many COs are as ill-prepared as this one and how much time they actually have for "personal study"...

So anyways..... I say go for it! Tell him What's the worse that could happen?

Daniel1555

Hi captain blithering

I expressed to the elders and to my wife most of my doubts.

That lifted a weight from my chest. So I was able to step down as elder and for me it was important to be honest especially towards my wife. The elders might want to continue to help you spiritually. The only thing they are able to tell you is to wait on Jehovah and that everyone has certain doubts.

If you tell your wife and also the elders, they will understand "why" you are fading.

If you have a loving wife she will respect your feelings and thoughts. My wife doesn't respect my feelings (or at least she is learning it over time). One suggestion I can give you. Do not try to reason too much with your wife or don't give her the impression that you want to change her belief.

Anyway I wish you all the best and I feel for you.

Daniel

should I tell the CO my doubts?

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