Wow, Thanks for all the replies folks, talk about an anti-climax, he didn't work with me anyway!!
I was ready in my mind to say something, that in itself is a big thing for me, it shows me I'm convinced in what I think and that I'm ready to defend myself if needs be. MILESTONE ALERT!
YADDA YADDA 2 - I'm still bothering to go out cos my family is still in. I'm FADING dude, that's the situation!
PRINCESSCYNIC - That's what I was hoping for, the possibility that when my questions go unanswered it may help my other half wake up a little.
KATEWILD - i DO love her, she's really great but mislead like most of us were. I've kinda made my mind up to hang in there because she's the best thing in my whole life fo' shizzle! It'll be worth the wait, I've just got to get my hands (surreptitiously) on a copy of a Hassan book sometime..
BLACK SHEEP - I'm reading into your comment that you've been betrayed and shunned by elders and family, and I'm REAL sorry to hear that. I appreciate your advice, and it may come back to bite me in the bum sometime if I don't heed it! I DO like the LAST ONE OUT advice though, it'd be perfect if we disappeared together.
PHIZZY and CALEBS - Thanks for the advice, I'm being VERY careful, I know that I'm not going to incriminate myself, and tbh I don't care if I AM on their radar, as I suspect that I already AM! Just spending time on this board has helped me enormously to be able to think clearly. Ish!
DANIEL1555 - it was an enormous relief to express doubts to my wife too, but it does kinda seem like a bit of an elephant in the room now. I'm definitely not gonna push the issue though, if she wants to talk I'm open to it..
DESIGNS - blacklisting sounds like a GREAT step to have forced upon me! That would have been a plus point!
Blondie - I'm sorry to hear that, and I value your advice very much.. I know that it would ultimately boil down to 'wait on Jehovah', it's an easy get out.. And likewise LAIKA..
DING - I know what the phrases are that they'll want to hear, there's no way I could get DF'd for asking questions, I've been on the other side of the interrogator's chair! (to my shame). Being DF'd isn't on my timeline yet. I have a vague plan.
SSPO - Sorry it didn't work out for you man, hope things are better for you now.. i AM taking my time, thank for your wishes.
ABIBLESTUDENT - you're right. I did know. But merely having the confidence to be ready for it was a big step for me!
OTWO - What you said was my ONLY concern. I really believe my wife's loyalty, if pushed, would be to me not the org. But letting a little more time go by first to allow me to sow seeds of doubt while building my own arsenal up too can't hurt.
WESTIEBILLY11 - I suspect you're right. I'm just impatient!
TIKI - I'm kinda hoping I can adopt that attitude eventually. At the moment I'm still too immersed in the whole way of life. It's all I know.
and REBEL8 - I can't lie about time reporting, most of it is with my WIFE!!
Anyway - it didn't happen. Thanks you lot, your replies keep me grounded. It's really getting me down not being able to actually TALK to someone about this utterly ridiculous game of heavily biased chess we play. I'll keep schtum for now.
Anyone got a Hassan book on pdf?