WTS overboard w/suggested presentation

by doinmypart 46 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    Hilarious. Just when you thought Service Meetings couldn't become any more inane.

  • sir82
    sir82

    Wait....slow down.....This article is so dee-e-e-e-e-ep.

    OK so....

    If I want the housholder to understand why I am there.....

    If I want him to grasp the import and meaning of my visit.....

    If I wish to convey the reason for my visit....

    I should use the word "because"?

    Do I have that right?

    Man, talk about your timely spiritual food!

    I never, in a billion years, would have thought about using the word "because"!

    How faithful and discreet our overlords are!

    How faithful!

    How discreet!

    Oh the depths of intellectual riches that can be found in a service meeting!

    Where in Christendom, mind you, would they have the spirituality to discuss for 10 minutes how to use the word "because"? Nowhere, that's where, because this is God's organization!

    I'm going to go home now and meditate for a few hours on using the word "because".

  • Stand for Pure Worship
    Stand for Pure Worship

    You know, I'm almost at a loss for words with this thread. All it is a simple suggestion for publishers to consider when looking to engage someone in conversation after showing up to their home anannounced and unexpected. This suggestion along with two demonstrations will be covered this week at the Service Meeting. Keep in mind it's only a ten minute part, just a fraction of the total amount of items to be discussed at the meeting. Let you folks tell it, its all we're going to review at this meeting. I can only imagine how much of a complaining spirit some of you had when still in.

  • piztjw
    piztjw

    And this was preceded by a "Bible"(?) study that gave orders to the sheeple about how they couldn't really have God's favor, and were disrespectful of God unless they suited up with a suit and neck choking tie, drab mid-calf length dresses, short hair on men, and damned sure no facial hair! How they had to underline the parroted comments from the...Bible(?)...nope...the WT$ publications, or they didn't really love God!

    What do they think people are? A bunch of low I.Q. third graders?

  • piztjw
    piztjw

    SFPW

    STFU

  • jw07
    jw07

    Sounds like the intro to a cheezy porno scene

    I'm here because.........*pulls phallus out of pants*

  • Island Man
    Island Man

    Keep in mind it's only a ten minute part, just a fraction of the total amount of items to be discussed at the meeting.

    Stand For Pure Worship, the Service Meeting is 30 minutes in length and this is a 10 minute part. That's one third of the entire Service Meeting dedicated to "I Am Here Because"! That's a very sizeable fraction if you ask me. We all know that 10 minutes is relatively long in JW meeting time. "Only a ten minute part"? "Just a fraction of the total amount of items?" Give us a break!

  • ldrnomo
    ldrnomo

    I'm here because I have to warn you that Jehovah is going to kill you and your family because you aren't a Jehovah's Witness. So if you don't start studying the Bible with me you and all of your children are going to die because that's the way Jehovah does things.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    You know, I'm almost at a loss for words with this thread. All it is a simple suggestion for publishers to consider when looking to engage someone in conversation after showing up to their home anannounced and unexpected.....SFPW

    Theres no such thing as a simple suggestion in Watchtower World..

    Theres also no such thing as getting a simple answer from a JW at your door..

    .

    JW:What do you think of world conditions?

    OUTLAW:Are you a JW?!..

    JW:I`m here to discuss the Bible..

    OUTLAW:Are you a JW?!

    JW:Do you think the world is getting worse?

    OUTLAW:Are you a JW?!..

    JW:I`m a Bible student..

    OUTLAW:Are you a JW?!..

    JW:Let me read you a Scripture..

    OUTLAW:Are you a JW?!..

    JW:I`m awfully busy I have to go now..

    OUTLAW:Are you a JW?!..

    JW:Bye!..Have a nice day!..

    OUTLAW:Are you a JW?!..

    JW shuffles off into the Sunset..

    .................................. photo mutley-ani1.gif ...OUTLAW

  • jam
    jam

    Publisher walking up to his first door. He is thinking, ok I can't say

    that, I must remember to say this and never use because.

    Householder open the door and ask, may I help you.

    Publisher, Hell I forgot.

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