by Space Madness 85 Replies latest jw friends
When i was a loyal Jdub I hated the thought that there were fakers who didnt really believe any of it but just went through the motions for glory, friends or the social scene. We all knew some like this. They gave themselves away by their words and actions.
So if you go back for friendship and company and are found out expect your conditional friends to drop you like a steaming turd.
A couple of thoughts come to mind -either you have a very warped sense of humour, or you are a glutton for punishment, or perhaps your masochistic tendencies have overtaken any rational thought processes you may have once possessed.
Whatever the case, I'm glad it's you and not me. But, then again, it wouldn't be a choice between you or me, as there is no known force in the universe that would have me embracing any religious shit, moreso if it was jw related.
I would like to wish you luck, but I won't. Enjoy all that is coming to you.
cheeses. Unrelenting.
Dear Madness,
You need to do what you think you need to do, and I wouldn't try to talk you out of anything. However, it seems to be that your current situation is at worst temporary. I don't understand making a quasi-permanent (especially one with potentially bad results) decision based on a temporary situaiton. But that's me. Find some friends; they are everywhere. I have found MANY great friends upon exiting the JWs nearly 20 years ago.
Also, if you do go back it seems that they would consider you 'bad association' for a while. The borken lamb returning to the fold isn't typically treated kindly and gently in JW land. You will be watched and unlikely nutured as you desire and apparently require. In addiition, there may be lurkers who recognize your profile and may 'out' you upon your return.
If you return and make a big JW mistake with alcohol or girls or guys or whatever, the JC will not be kind and you will be ostracised, DFed, etc., which will likely place you in even greater emotional and psychological danger. I have seen many go back into the Borg only to slip up fairly quickly and be dealt with harshly. It isn't a kind loving borganizatioin.
And finally (and if you read my posts you will know that I have said this before) I think it is more than a bit pathetic that humans NEED religion or control groups to make them behave or feel good. Geesh, Madness, grow a par. Evolve. Find or develop the strength inside yourself.
"Jehovah's Witnesses are programmed to believe that psychology is a demonic profession,"
How strange, then, that we have psychologists and psychiatrists in our congregations.
In my opinion you must do all you can to be a better person. If you truly think you will feel better being a witness and able to be a better person then do it... I do not agree with that choice but it is your life :)
Hi , I would agree with those saying that if you feel the need for some " moral support " try a mainstream church first . I do not know what country you are in to make suggestions , but I think that the Alpha courses are run now in many countries and these are a great way to meet people and find out about mainstream belief in a non threatening or pushy way so that you could see if you like what you hear before joining any church .
It won't hurt to delay your return to the Watchtower for a few weeks to look at alternatives .
Jan
If you think it is what you need, by all means go ahead. I wish you well, though I honestly doubt it will be sustainable. If you do go back, make sure to live "the truth a la carte", meaning follow YOUR conscience and what YOU want.
Some guidelines could be:
1. Do not carry a NO BLOOD card
2. Limit your FS as much as possible. Work only with the Bible. Forge your FS report to keep the elders at bay.
3. Check beforehand the material to be discussed. If you don't like it, stay home that day.
4. Do try to live as a Christian or Christ-Like and lead by example
5. Seek out those worthy and loving and make friendships with such persons - while keeping the gossipers and other unkind persons at a distance
6. Keep in mind that you have not signed up for life. If at any time it turns out to work differently, you are free to leave
7. Check in from time to time and keep us posted
Again wishing you best in life and hope it works out for you.
Space Madness,
My younger brother, who has gone through a lot since leaving the JDubs, says to me sometimes that he should go back to the religion, to straighten his life out. I try to tell him life isn't actually divided up into 'us' and 'them'. His options are not limited to strictly 'the world' or 'the JW's'. Memories of simpler times can tempt someone back to the JW's, but you know and my younger brother knows it isn't 'the one true religion' at all, and so you'd have to ignore a very important part of yourself if you went back: your authenticity.
Everyone's posts regarding joining a liberal church or community group, traveling or having some counseling sessions, are wonderful suggestions. It can seem so lonely when you still think the 'us' and 'them' mentality. I know I felt lonely, adrift, without any friends, for quite some time after I left the JDubs.
But please, I hope so much for you, and for my younger brother, that you both realize the world is wide and inviting and made up of all sorts of experiences that will encourage you to seek the truth for your life. Find your own discipline, don't rely on the WTS to keep you out of harm's way.
I wish you all the best.
gorgia
Space Madness:
Although I no longer believe in the Bible, the atmosphere and positive association will help me become the person I use to be. My life is all negative now and I need something positive to balance it out.
If your life feels 'all negative', it might help to talk to a doctor or counsellor. Assess whether everything really is 'negative', or if you're suffering from depression.
It would be a basic fallacy to assume that 'being a JW' (especially if you realise it's not true) will make you 'happy', and association with JWs is far from the only way to 'balance' your life. There's nothing unique about being a JW that makes people happy, so you should be able to make whatever changes are required without needing that crutch.
Given the peer pressure to conform among JWs, it will almost certainly make you unhappy if you go along with 'preaching' a message you don't believe. JWs tend to focus on all the negative things in 'the world', so associating with them isn't likely to make you feel more positive, especially if you recognise that their only sense of 'hope' is based on lies.
I left intially because of doctrinal issues. Since I no longer believe in the Bible, those issues no longer matter.
So, you can have a clear conscience in drawing people into an organizatiion that can lead them to becoming trapped themselves, perhaps destroying their own family down the road? Where is your moral compass?
