Letter I wrote to the person the caused me to be disfellowshipped (page 5)

Scott77

Awesome and inspiring letter. Thank you

Scott77

jwfacts

Thanks again for the comments.

Steve2 - self-efficacy is a hallmark of healthy mental- health functioning.

Great comment. I get frustrated with people that say they cannot do something. I am becoming more aware that they may need help to understand their true potential.

There was an elder on the Judicial committee that was very nice, and stressed by the whole process. The other two were incredibly arrogant, a real wake up call to how heartless and power hungry many elders are. I may consider sending a similar email to the kind elder, as I know the process really affected him.

Band on the Run

It is true. Many people never became involved b/c of you. What an achievement. I don't know how you sound so even tempered but it is your greatest strength.

whathappened

Great letter and not only have you helped thousands leave, but you have helped them leave happily, assured that the Watchtower is NOT God's Visable Earthly Organisation!

Job well done, thanks again for helping all us truth seekers.

jwfacts

I don't know how you sound so even tempered but it is your greatest strength.

Sometimes I need to wait a while to calm down before writing, or go back and reword things to get rid of the anger.

It would be interesting to find out if any of you have confronted the elders or others in the congregation that many have been instrumental in your leaving.

besty

I've been reading Nicolas Taleb's book

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antifragile:_Things_That_Gain_from_Disorder

The concept of anti-fragile definitely applies to disfellowshipping. Although on the face of it, it appears to be a disturbing negative event, and one that JW's believe to be disciplinary in nature - in fact it frequently has a strengthening effect opposite to the intended outcome.

If you have benefited from being DF'd - you are anti-fragile. An attempt to break you has failed AND has improved you as a person.

Thank you Watch Tower :-)

(and thanks Paul - again)

Band on the Run

I just left. My family would attend meetings. The wordly part of me just became stronger. I was a teenager. As long as my father lived, I had no choice but to go. He was very abusive. My life was in danger. He died and my mother assumed I would just comply. I only attended at the end if he pinched me in public. He would kick me at the KH and all were smiles. My mom told me to get ready and I said "never again. Never again. If you want me to go, you must call the police to place me in handcuffs. A judge will not force me to go at my age." She looked shocked and puzzled. My siblings followed her out the door. I read a book at home. When they returned, nothing was said. She never attended another meeting. I have no idea what they discussed in the car to this day.

It was strange that everyone present at the KH witnessed him pinching me and kicking me. No one intervened. This is how strange JWs are.

AudeSapere

We should all send thank you notes to Dwayne.

-Aude.

steve2

If you have benefited from being DF'd - you are anti-fragile. An attempt to break you has failed AND has improved you as a person.

Thank you Watch Tower :-)

(and thanks Paul - again)

Good observation Besty! I'd go so far as to say that, it is almost always possible to derive something of extraordinary value from life's hardships - but would not take it so far as some people do who believe the deliberate purpose of all pain and hardship is to develop our inner strength. But given what I have been through, it would be such a shame not to have derived anything of value. I left the organization with strong and loud messages of condemnation from the Witnesses about what 'type' of person I was. I could have sunk into the judgement and become another self-fulfilling prophecy of misery. Instead, the opposite happened. Given the depths I plunged to when I was in the organization, after leaving there was only one way to go: Up. Although the detials may differ from one individual to another, there is a lot to be said for doing everything in one's power to improve the quality of one's life after leaving - even if part of that turnaround is to refuse to give the Witnesses the satisfaction of seeing us crumble because we have left.

jwfacts

Band on the Run. It is terrible how some parents use the meetings as justification of abusing children. It is amazing that your mother never attended after you stood up for it. What happened with you mothers and siblings in the long term regarding religion. Have you written your story elsewhere?

Aude - It would be hilarious to do, but too mean.

Besti - Great concept. Interesting that there is no word for something that becomes stronger with shock, hence the somewhat awkward term antifragile. Those that have committed suicide are tragic testament that disfellowshipped can have tragic affects, but disfellowshipping really builds character in many ExJWs, and I think overall it is counterproductive for Watchtower growth.

Letter I wrote to the person the caused me to be disfellowshipped

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