post meeting dirty moods.

by zeb 18 Replies latest social relationships

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  Stand for Pure Worship

  I don't really struggle with post meeting grumpiness but I do go through pre-meeting grumpiness and I guess it's for a few reasons. For one, I'm sick of that platform. I feel like a former child actor at times as I've been standing on stages since I was a kid. I'm in my thirties now and its gotten old to me. Talks, parts, prayers, traveling to timbuktu to deliver a talk somewhere, doing the WT Study, or the Congregation Bible Study, highlights, reading, etc., ughugh, I'm just sick of it. Then there's the material we go over which is often repetitive. Same material, same timely reminders, over and over again. Meetings are like Groundhog Day at times and I'm Bill Murray. There have been times where I've been assigned a Service Meeting part and the theme will look familiar to me. Then, when I go to prepare for it using whatever reference, I'll turn to the page in whatever book it's based off of, and there will be notes and underlined portions of certain paragraphs from when I did the same exact part in the past. Not to mention participating in or simply being present for material from the Slave that I disagree with. Ya know, I agree with roughly eighty percent of WT teachings, but the other twenty percent I disagree with disturb me and I lack peace because of my conflict with those teachings. On another note, there's the anxiety that comes from being nervous about going up there. Thirty years of nervousness from talks and parts, not to mention all the other stuff active JWs do, can cause what seems like a stress disorder. I can totally understand why an ex-witness might be diagnosed with post-stress disorder.

  There are other reasons why before a meeting I can be grumpy. Like knowing the COBOE will need to see the elders afterwards. That's especially irritating after a long day at work. Another reason is knowing it's our group's turn to clean and secure the hall. When the CO is in town I'm grumpy because of the special week of activities. It's too much some days. That's why for the most part, when a meeting is over and I'm driving home, I feel relief. Even a measure of peace.
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  prologos

  meetings are stress and that has its effects. monks used to beat themselfs with brich twigs, (Saunas) for the relief is GREAT.

  The same goes for service. why is service not as "fulfilling" as in the past?

  with less stress, hour long coffe/tea breaks, NHs, no challenges at the doors, , Where is the stress?

  No stress no post - traumatic high.

  sigh.
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  Slayerbard

  My family had them in a severe way. I had it cause the entire ride home amounted to my father and stepmom badgering me about everything that was said. And hearing about all the changes the family (ME) had to make. The large meetings were the worse, and my father is agoraphobic.. hate crowds or being around people. So he was exceptionally hostal leaving those meetings. All just sat there and took it to avoid getting hit. So glad I don't have to deal with that crap anymore
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  piztjw

  Not so much leaving the meeting, but before the ones I manage to drag myself to(for appearance sake) I usually find myself in a pretty black, foul mood. The idea that I am going to be in the midst of eldurrs who don't really shive a git about anything other than their personal prominence, "sisters" who are always whining about some ailment or another and crying around looking for sympathy because no self respecting man will lower his standards to pursue their fat, lazy, welfare leaching asses, ill behaved half-wit children who are like demon spawned hellions, and of course the young "men" who have a serious case of perma-brown on their noses from being shoved up the hounder's asses so far that if the eldurr turned suddenly they would suffer a broken nose, just piss me off.

  Why do I do it? Because I have yet family that I am not willing to cut loose and lose all contact with. Besides I kind of enjoy being a thorn in the side of the holier-than-thou hypocrites!
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  Jen1

  piztjw you made me laugh! I agree, usually in a foul mood before the meeting. Not one single part of me wants to go, having to drag myself out on a weeknight especially in the winter is hell. Knowing I have to sit in a boiling hot hall and put up with nasty comments from certain ones! I can get away with missing lots of meetings but have to go at times! Managed to miss the whole circuit visit this time. Listened in to circuit overseers talks just to know what was going on, usually get grilled about listening in.

  Oh and as for cleaning the hall. Who really wants to do that! I used to be so happy to do that until a family moved in who made it clear they did not want to do the toilets an elders wife, the whole family gets a duster and stands around pretending to clean every single time, at one point watching my elderly mum and me clean the toilets yet again. One day mum was not feeling to good after field service and we were due to clean after service so I told them I was going to take mum home and stay with her, this elders wife said shall we leave the toilets for you I said no I am going to take care of mum not going to come to hall cleaning But who is going to clean the toilets she said. That was it for me have not gone to hall cleaning since. Now no one will touch the toilets because of this elders wifes attitude and her husband is guilted into doing them every time! Before they came into congregation we all used to take it in turns to do toilets, no problems!

  My head was pounding, after meeting on Sunday and my body felt tired and achy feel this way after every meeting, takes a couple of hours after to feel better, I swear each time it happens coming down with cold/flu but never do, weird. Stress.
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  Ucantnome

  i used to come home irritated from the meetings. this went on for some years. if it was an evening meeting i would be unable to sleep till the early hours. for years i had a big bottle of antacid tablets at the side of my bed.

  that's a distant memory now and i haven't had an antacid tablet for years.
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  Frazzled UBM

  SFPW - I enjoyed reading your frank comments about how you feel before meetings. Well done on tapping into your cognitive dissonance and not running away from it. Keeping growing. Fraz
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  carla

  I forgot to mention, if your jw comes home in ugly moods on a regular basis one way to get the ugliness to stop is to tell them, "if going to meetings is making you so crabby afterwards maybe you should skip a few" or "I thought hearing about jah was so supposed to make you feel happy?" something on those lines and as a ubm I can tell you it certaily straightened up my jw for awhile at least. Let them know they are giving a bad 'witness' about the meetings and jw-ism in general.
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  blondie

  I realized that certain "brothers and sisters" went out of their way to say hurtful things under the guise of "helping." I came just as the meeting started and stood back by the door during last part of the song and during the prayer. Eventually, I just learned that ignoring them being silent ant keeping around other people (literature/magazines) and nicer jws, irritated them. But no headaches unless I caused some.