Hello, its good to be back, seriously!

by AllTimeJeff 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Welcome back Jeff.

    When I go to a new town, I do the rounds of the pubs and clubs and find one that has a nice atmosphere. It doesn't matter that I don't know anyone there.

    I don't refuse any offers.

    After a few years of not refusing any offers, you will be a 'local' and will be getting offers you can not bring yourself to refuse. You wouldn't believe what I have volunteered to do this weekend. It will be a helluva lot of fun for everyone involved.

    ....my Dubs have to do whatever my Dubs do on a weekend .... every weekend .... Yay for them.

  • besty
    besty

    hi Jeff - good to see you back -you know - like friends :-)

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Hi Jeff,

    Live in California (L.A. area) and it would be great to meet you. You already are in my list of people whose posts I look forward to reading. You are very thoughtful. I am not a JW, but having been exposed every day to JW's for the last 25 years allows me to say that I know and feel your paiin.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    skeeter:

    That was a lovely read on my mid-morning break.

    om

  • highroad
    highroad

    Hi ATJ, I'm glad that you're learning to heal. I really appreciated your advice on my post the other day. Glad you have made the decision to come back!

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro

    ATJ - It's great to see you back. I've missed your comments. I too thought you had escaped unscathed and was living a non-JW scarred life.

    I guess everyone has some damage as a result of being a JW. But, like you said, facing the fact that you are damaged goods (as am I) is the first step to recovery!

    I'm sending you a PM.

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Hey everyone. I am honestly touched. Thanks for that. (Besty, I appreciate your great contributions and work in helping people online learn about JWs)

    I am surprised so many people thought I was well adjusted. In some respects, I am. In other areas, I've had to come face to face with the deep wounds that are my own. We all have theM. For whatever reason, I didn't like posting about them. I wish I did. I know I represented myself as strong, and probably there were some days I felt responsible to be strong For you, to say "The Borg doesn't have to beat you." Like somehow, admitting I was in pain was weak, when in fact, the opposite is true. It takes a stronger person to be honest than to ignore the pain.

    Here's the good news. I can now say I used to be a JW, went to Africa, had some bodacious experiences and started life over. That's progress For me. I couldn't even talk about what happened with me for years. It's taken a while in that front.

    For me, and probably most of us, to be able to move on means that we acknowledge there will always be a scar, and wrinkles along the eyes of our soul. But at least, we've lived, and continue to strive.

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Also, I will get to your very cool PMs soon. Hopefully tomorrow. :)

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    In other areas, I've had to come face to face with the deep wounds that are my own.

    Scars. Physical and emotional...

    When I was a little girl, I had a mother who was very good in most ways, but she was undiagonosed with a moodswing disorder. Sometimes, for seemingly nothing, she would fly into these rages. God help the child that met her wrath. On one night, my brother and I were teamed up to clean the kitchen. We were bickering and my mother came in with "THE BELT", to stop the noise. We had a long dining table, and when she came after me, I took off running around the table and we ran round and round the table. Finally she just threw the belt at me and the buckle caught me on my upper lip. It knocked a tooth loose and split open my lip, which saved me really. The site of blood shook her back to reality and she took me and nursed the wound. She also apologized, which is something mother usually didn't do. It left a physical scar, which over the years became almost invisible. But, as I began to hit middleage and my skin wasn't so young, the scar became more and more visible. To me it is a lesson about the emotional scars I have left from my beloved mother's mood disorder and the physical and emotional abuse I received from her. At times the scars look or feel nearly invisible, but they are still there. Sometimes they surface in much stronger ways. Then, like you said, you have to face your wounds and scars. They are screaming so loudly that they nearly deafen you. You can't ignore them anymore. They are telling you to take care of yourself: get perspective so that you can live your life so that your life doesn't live you.

  • flipper
    flipper

    ALL TIME JEFF- Nice to have you back here my friend. Always have enjoyed your takes and observations on things.You know- we all move on with life after being a JW in our own way. There is no real " cookie cutter " version. If you ever want to chat I'd be happy to PM my phone number to keep in touch. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

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