Welcome.I am in the same position like you , still active , but slowly reducing my activity . My wife knows I am JW apostate and it is a difficult position to be in. She is Jw for a social reasons rather then doctrine and because of that it's nearly impossible to change her mind. She knows that many things don't make any sense and often she doesn't have a clue what the wt teach their flock in certain matters , but She does't mind. She constantly repeats Wt cliche about apostates and this hurts me sometimes. Hope you'll be more lucky with your wife then I am. Cheers.
Surrounded - Yet All Alone at the same Time
by offgrid5150 41 Replies latest jw friends
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offgrid5150
Yes, time will tell :) But success is my only option. My wife is very intelligent, and I know I will breakthrough, slowly but surely. In the case of my wife, it's kinda crazy. Once you can identify mind control, it's easy to see. I can have an intelligent conversation with her, and the second we touch on a semi-related topic to anything in her sacred box, i start to see the brick wall being erected, and her eyes start to gloss! Defintely have to tread carefully. But, eventual goal is to unjack this whole darn crew from the matrix.
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cha ching
Congrats!
My husband started seeing things before I did... Why? He read, he studied, and he told me things.
Once I got a hold of an old book, "The Finished Mystery" and read page 230 (They started explaining what the meaning of Rev 14:20, using the Hoboken Tunnel, measuring distances between buildings, and coming up with the craziest reasonings.. boiling down to numerology.. change numbers to make them work... especially with this 'overlapping generations." The books says:
The mileage from the Scranton to Hoboken Terminal is shown in time tables as 143.8 and this is the mileage charged to passengers, but in 1911, at an expense of $12,000,000 the Lackawanna Railroad completed it’s famous cut-off, saving 11 miles of the distance. From the day the cut-off was completed, the trainmen have been allowed 11 miles less than the time table shows, or a net distance of ….. 132.8 (I cried when I saw the similarities of how the WT just changes things when necessary)
Maybe have the book in your hand, say Hmmm? what are they saying? let her explain... ask, "Why did they take 11 miles out when they changed the Railway?"I think asking questions, and reallllllly letting her answer is the best.
But don't do it toooo much, sometimes I was driven crazy when the same things were repeated over and over. Personally, I w/have liked the direct approach, and when we eventually went thru the 2011 WT's about 607 together, collecting info, discovering reality, it was a team effort.
College?can you get her to take classes, take her mind in different directions? Vacations where you miss some meetings? Enjoy some real life? Take her away from the "full time" association? Start going to 'country line dancing', or the gymor biking/ rafting, karaoke? Some kind of hobbytogether?
How about asking her to work part timeto help out? Maybe you could point out many older ones don't have retirement, and they should have planned... or maybe they don't have Social Security because they didn't work? Point out that "maybe the light will get brighter," and the two of you may be in others situations if the end is "in the future" by a hundred years...
Have her start reading books with you... "Reading Lolita in Iran" is an interesting book, as it is from the viewpoint of a woman who grew up in a 'free Iran,' returned, and found it taken over by religious zealots that did not allow free thinking... It could be a story about JWs... But, since it is from a different viewpoint (a teacher in Iran) lessons may be learned easier (it's not against JWs)... "Lipstic Jihad" is another one... also about Iran.. but it helps you learn that things aren't always what they seem at face value... good lessons to be learned.
Science fictionhas always allowed people to 'have their comments' about things when there is social pressure... Can you get her to watch "The Matrix"? Blue pill/ red pill.... Then you can ask questions, "what would you do? would you rather not know?"
If she is smart, and you show her love, and patience, there is a better chance you can make it. All of my family is out, I am so thankful, but it took some time, cracks in the dam, and eventually, it broke. And yes, you are young, be glad you still have a chance to plan for a future.
Wishing you well, cha ching
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Black Sheep
Welcome to the forum, Offgrid.
Just pull one nail at a time with your missus. It might take a while 'til the box falls apart for her, but rushing things doesn't often work.
Good luck
Chris
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offgrid5150
Thanks Cha Ching. I think suggesting part time work is an excellent choice. Especially since the in laws may need financial assistance in old age, it maybe a good chance to convince her to get off the pioneer rolls. Day by Day, day by day!
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Captain Blithering
black sheep.. Great illustration with the nails.. Good way to view it.
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flipper
OFFGRID 5150- Welcome to the board my friend. You certainly have a challenging road ahead of you indeed. I was a born-in JW as well and much of my extended family are JW's still- fortunately my 28 year old son is not and neither is my wife. But like you I still have to tread carefully around my older JW parents and my JW siblings. I have two adult JW daughters who won't talk to me or their brother these last 10 years we've been out. And we are just inactive- not DFed - so tread carefully.
Congratulations on reading Steve Hassan's first book ! You mentioned that in his first book JW's aren't mentioned. That changes in a big way in his 2nd and 3rd books which I highly recommend to read if you get a chance. JW's are mentioned often in his 2nd & 3rd books. His 2nd book printed in 2000 is titled " Releasing the Bonds - Empowering People to Think For Themselves " & his 3rd book came out last year in 2012 titled " Freedom of Mind - Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs ". This last book he wrote in my opinion was his best . His books get better and better based on all the experiences he's had as a cult exit counselor for years now. I've tried to implement some of his ideas in reaching out to my adult JW daughters.
Just remember this : IF your wife and JW relatives had full control of their own minds they would join you in your exit from the mind control, but they do not because they are still " mentally off " so to speak under the infuence of WT mind control through use of fear & guilt tactics. You are doing well in being patient. Hang in there remember we are here as a support to you and offer our unconditional friendship, if you need to vent feel free to do so indeed ! We have all needed to do it too after exiting this high control organization. Good luck to you, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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crmsicl
I read this article to late to be tactful with my son. However it's been 4 years now since we got out and he is now mentally out but wife and family causes him to play it safe.
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offgrid5150
All very helpful stuff. I can't stress how revealing and amazing that epiphany/matrix unjack moment is, when one realizes it! Holy crap, this is all a big sham! It's hard to accept, especially since many of us made/make big life decisions based on this house of cards false prophet. It's never too late :) Glad to here.
