.....said the exiting JW.
This JW saw it all, the games, the politics. Oh, and how this quality of "humility" was used as an anvil to keep, not just your actions in line, but your thoughts and feelings as well.
The leadership of JW's is an extremely talented bunch. They know exactly how to reframe concepts to their own ends.
So, once you have your awakening, and you leave, and you remember how often you were symbolically on your knees all the time, you say "Never again!"
Because if that's what humility really is, they can bite me big time!
But that isn't what humiity is all about. It's easy to say, and even easy to agree with, but the humility that JW's teach to their flock isn't humility at all. Just for the record, here is what humility is defined as:
"the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people" "freedom from arrogance"
That's it. There is NOTHING wrong with this. Why? Because whatever you think and decide, it only has to be good for you. I especially take this definition to mean that you can't judge a book by it's cover. Yes, some states of mind and actions ARE better than others, but that doesn't mean that the PERSON is of lesser quality, one way or the other. A good smart, and yes, HUMBLE person, when presented with evidence, can change their mind and their ways... if they're humble. And sometimes, life will humble you, causing you to change a less desireable mindet, even if it takes years.
So you're smart, successful, good looking, rich, influential. That doesn't mean you're BETTER than me. (although I would be jealous as shit....) And if I am that person, it doesn't mean I am BETTER than you.
That's the trouble with the whole JW mindest. It encourages people to think that they are better. What other sane reason would you have to stay? Because you are in a better organization, and everyone else is going down.
So when you leave, sometimes you feel like you have to over compensate. You act confident. (you're totally not) You pretend to know. (It takes time to learn and educate yourself). You have been spiritually and emotionally abused, so you won't allow anyone to "treat you badly". (all they're doing is disagreeing with you).....
It goes on and on.
Real humility is a relief, and something I think could help former JW's in their moving on.
Being humble allows you to acknowledge where you came from, knowing that everyone else isn't better than you, or even ahead of you, just because you were in a cult.
Being humble allows you to take the good from your JW experience and use it as wisdom, and maybe even for job/career skills.
Being humble allows you to listen to different points of view without needing to argue (this point was a BIG lesson I needed to learn) It can help you to realize, there are always going to be differences of opinion, so why sweat it?
Being humble allows you to just BE. After all, it stands to reason, if you aren't better than anyone else, no one else is better than you either. So you don't have to worry.
Being humble allows you to grow and improve and educate yourself, because you can't do any of those things if you think you are perfect and done where you stand. But this growth and improvement doesn't come from insecurity, it comes from security.
I could go on. It's a great little study if you want to read up on real humilty. Far from what the GB taught on the matter, true humility, that freedom from arrogance, is a real asset in your post JW life, and can you save a lot of mental and emotional turmoil in the process.