by minimus 35 Replies latest jw friends
and within a month, he has been seeing a 69 year old woman who lived upstairs from him.
The wife has been sick for a year and she passed away in October.
Now, the 80 year old man is like a teenager with this woman, making out in public places with this woman and introducing her to family and friends as his new girlfriend that he "loves".
The father's family thinks this is weird and are concerned about it.
Any thoughts??
and what do you want him to do? go kill himself?
I don't want him to kill himself. Maybe you.
Any thoughts?
according to jh: once he dies thats it anyway, so why no go and have all the fun you can now, because this life is it! eat drink and be merry for tommorow we shall die!
Well, it is weird. Yet things are not always what they "seem". My grampa died last year. I had lunch with my gramma 7 months later, she told me that she did not love him when he died. I personally did not feel I needed to know this, but again "nothing is what seems". It could be, that he is used to being with someone, his wife just died, and he's lonley. Or he just wants to be happy again, and is having a good time with the neighbor upstairs. Maybe its that simple. Or maybe he wasnt happy for a long time.....perhaps the family needs to not be judgemental and let the 80 year man live out the rest of his life in happiness and bliss.
Nikki :)
At 80 I don't think he has a lot of time to wait.
Would it be different if he were a 40 year old widower?
As far as I know, my grandfather was faithful to my grandmother. But after she died, he was soon dating and soon married to the neighbor lady and moved away to a warmer climate.
Here's something I learned from that situation. My grandfather was of the type that would not even consider divorce. I don't know how happy or how miserable my grandparents were staying together, but they simply stayed together. Anything else was out of the question. Once she passed away, Grandpa had no further obligation to her and wasn't going to waste years mourning and playing the widower. That doesn't mean he didn't love her.
Some absolutely love being "with someone" and won't miss an opportunity when it presents itself even if it's as their spouse is being lowered into the ground.
As humans, we tend to think that dating the day after a bad breakup is horrible, like moving on too soon. We tend to think we should wait even longer after the death of a mate, and we seem to feel free to put some kind of "morality" into waiting the proper period.
Power to the 80 year old that found him a young 69 year old.
Even if he was secretly "seeing" her while his wife was alive, I am glad he kept it quiet and now can be open and free.
good comments. what about if he went about with a 28 year old?
a 28 year old with money?
with money in her future?
I do not believe that 80/69 liaison is sexual, it is emotional, it may be love of the best kind, not the one debated on another thread, just "chemicals to pass on the selfish gene".
Another possibility: his dying wife may have told him to find someone and be happy after she is gone. Perhaps at that age and after years together she still loved him very much and was thinking practically about his future.
When there's little time left, who cares what people think.
Another component is religious belief concerning an afterlife, meeting up in heaven or the new system or whatever. An agnostic person would be more likely to consider the value of this life and what's left of it.
Mrs. Flip
We visited someone a few months before they died. A devoted pair.
The wife's 'number' was up, and she died.
After her KHall memorial, we went back to the house for the afternoon 'tea'.
There were about 100 or more people in their huge house with swimming pool and ocean view. It was a beautiful day. Beautiful flower arrangements, a nice buffet.
The new widower was happy. His wife had been sick for a year or two. His sister-in-law (his wife's divorced sister) was there. He jokingly grabbed her around her waist from behind. She let out a yowl and was mad at him. ??? Later she found out she had bone cancer and was dead within the year.
Death and funerals and people moving on is weird for us JW's that are told practically from infancy, that we will never die.
Recently, a dear friend told me after his father died, in the early 1970's, that his mom went on and married 2 more times, both times widowed. At age 90, she again had a 'new' boyfriend. I asked, "Did Doris become a bride at 90?" He said no. It became too complicated with children, grandchildren, property, pensions etc , so they just 'lived' together.
We are hard wired, not to fall in love with every Tom, Dick and Harry. But when that 'spark' of love does happen, it is a wonderful thing, no matter what age.
LoisLane
