getting a visit tommorow our kids that are in are concerned as to why we are missing meetings. Our family is basically ignored by the congregation long story we just don't want to go anymore. I have told the kids how rotten I have been treated and also I have had some seriou health issues but you know you should still be at the meetings. Want to keep the lines of communication open with my kids that are still in so don't want to be dfd. Anybody have some ideas of what to say when they come???
suggestions for elder a nd co visit
by Shaul 15 Replies latest jw friends
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Witness My Fury
Who arranged it?
Grin and bear it if you cant avoid it and dont say anything controversial.
Lie or avoid if given the loyalty questions. (do you believe the fds is god chosen chanel / do you still believe in jehovah etc etc.)
I would never allow myself to cornered into it in the 1st place but we all have different circumstances and paths to freedom.
Keep what you say to a minimum and hopefully it will just be seen as "encouragment".
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OnTheWayOut
Stick with "My health" as your only issue if you want to push the elders away to let you go back to being left alone. Nod, appreciate what they say. Then go right back to what you were doing.
You can't be DF'ed for missing meetings. In the future, just say "No thanks, I appreciated that visit but I know what I need to do now." Refuse all future visits.
If they really really get on your case in the future (not at this visit), say that what you need is lots of help from the elders to mow your lawn and have your meals cooked and laundry done because of your health. Say you don't want the congregation members other than the elders helping as the whole thing is embarrassing and you would like to keep it between you and them.
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Gayle
can't you be just too sick,,(& that's truth enough?)?
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NeverKnew
If they really really get on your case in the future (not at this visit), say that what you need is lots of help from the elders to mow your lawn and have your meals cooked and laundry done because of your health. Say you don't want the congregation members other than the elders helping as the whole thing is embarrassing and you would like to keep it between you and them.
May not fit your circumstance, but THIS is hilarious.
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Crazyguy
Just say nothing and listen to thier crap nod your head and get it over with as soon as possible.
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jgnat
I'd be soooo tempted to agree with the brother, telling him you understand that a wounded sheep cannot expect any help from the shepherd if he cannot even keep up with the herd.
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The Searcher
Call it off now!!!!!!!!!!!
Apologise profusely, and briefly explain that you are having to deal with very personal issues which you can't talk about with anyone.
Be very firm but polite when they try to impose their will on you to agree to continuing with the get-together!
Be determined to control your choices in life - don't be subservient to those who want to dictate to you!
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AlphaMan
Could you elaborate on how rotten the JW's have treated you? Is that the cause of your health problems? I'm assuming you are female. Do you have a husband to be there with you when they come? Normally, I recommend not meeting with them, but somehow I get the gut feeling that could work against you here. Definately have somebody with you there. Smile & nod and agree with all crap they spew and complain about the rotten treatment you get every chance. Then when they leave, go back to doing whatever you feel like doing. You are in control of your life, not some religious publishing cult. Good luck.
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cha ching
Dear Shaul,
If you have been hurt, end it now. Don't let them hurt you again.
I went to an "elder's meeting" and during it, I was crying/ wailing for 2 hours from the bottom of my soul because they were so ignorant, I couldn't leave (other congregation meeting going on outside) and I had nightmares EVERYnight... post traumatic stress, for at least a year afterwards.
I would never give them that power over me again.
Tell them "I cannot mentally, physically endure such stress, and for my own health, cannot afford this "shepherding" call.
love & hugs, cha ching