Christmas presents

Hortensia

I like a lot about Christmas, lights, music, smells, food. I like the idea of lots of presents, too, but I totally don't like the idea enforced by advertising that all of us must spend loads of money buying gifts for everyone we know. And I think that gifts for adults should be consumable, a bottle of wine, candy, that sort of thing, a token of friendship, a little treat, but nothing grand.

So, I've made about four dozen jars of jam from wild grapes I picked in the fall, and I'm going to make lots of cranberry bread and pumpkin bread. I don't have anyone in particular in mind, just as it is appropriate I give people little bags with the jam and bread and say Merry Christmas. Neighbors, friends, delivery person, and so on.

What do you do about Christmas presents?

NeverKnew

Hortensia - Good for you! your gifts are from the heart. That's really cool. The cost of the gifts exchanged amongst many of those that I know (I'm a non-jw) are typically tokens of appreciation. The big-ticket items are reserved for the kids. You're only a kid once.

My 22 year old asked for boots. Her birthday gift was an Iphone. My mother asked for a football team's sweatshirt and my Dad wanted slippers. I buy nothing for my brother nor his wife, but buy something for their daughter and they do the same for mine. None of us relies on another to buy a gift that we can buy ourselves.

I suspect most over 30 would agree that the true goals of Christmas are the get-togethers and the food - not the gifts. :)

LisaRose

It varies. For my husband's siblings we usually do consumables, we are all at the stage where we don't need things, so Harry and David or something like that. One year we got everyone plants from Red Envelope, they were a big hit. For our children, sweaters or PJs and a book or calendar. Also I am planning to give them all a gift card that can be used to donate to a charity of their choice. For my grandson, who is 18, a gift card for the Guitar Center, I know there is one he has been wanting. For my granddaughter, who is five, she asked for: two Iron man figures, a Dr. Who toy, a picture of a dinosaur for her mom, because she loves her, and a fish that goes like wag, wag, wag. I had to settle for a fish that just sits there, but Amazon took care of the rest. I got gadgets from Edie bower as stocking stuffers.

I have two small things to get for my husband, then I am done. Every thing else has been wrapped, the tree is up and decorated, I even have cookie dough in the fridge, ready to bake when it gets closer to Xmas. It's a good feeling to be basically done. I have put my business on the back burner, I am taking time off to enjoy the holidays and think about what I want to do with it next year.

NeverKnew

It's a good feeling to be basically done.

Must we brag? I haven't started! I told my daughter to buy her own boots and that I'd reimburse her, I haven't been near a toy store for my niece, and ...I mean... how hard could it be to find a sweatshirt and some slippers? *sigh*

LisaRose

I must. I don't have a real job, so it's not that I am so organized, it's just that I have a flexible schedule. I also do a lot online, so much easier.

Hortensia

neverknew -- online shopping, it's the best! And it's easy. I always look for free shipping, too.

Lisa Rose, you are organized! All I have done is make jam and look for gift bags at the store. I'll bake just a couple of days before Christmas.

rebel8

Hortensia, I think that's great. I wish that was the norm.

I find gift exchange a lot of fun but also a lot of pressure. Did I spend enough? Did the recipient like it? Was I supposed to exchange gifts with this person? etc.

I also find receiving gifts--so many at once--a lot of fun and also awkward. I feel bad for people spending too much of their money on me. A little would be nice, but to me it's excessive.

If I don't like it, I have to pretend or hurt the giver's feelings. If I do like it, then there's the pressure of providing a sufficiently enthusiastic show, which I have been criticized for not doing. This doesn't come naturally to me. I say thanks so much, I really like it, I will use it for xyz, and then that's enough. One of my relatives goes on and on with a lot of fake praise for a gift and then I happen to know she ditches them after. But her response is more appreciated than mine, believe me.

Part of this is probably my lower level of experience with gift exchanging, but most of it is due to my Myers-Briggs personality type, and that's just the way it is.

"It's a non-optional social convention."

I would totally rather just do it the way you describe.

Hortensia

I announced to all and sundry a few years ago that I wouldn't be doing Christmas any more, so don't buy me any presents! Now that I've got everyone trained, I can do what I want, which is a few little treats for those around me. So much easier, so much less expensive, and still something that people can't buy in a store.

LisaRose

Rebel8, many people feel that way. My daughter isn't really big on holidays, so I keep it pretty simple for her. We usually get together after the actual holiday and exchange gifts, no big dinner or anything, very low key. After a very traumatic Thanksgiving with my husbands family, I am totally OK with a quiet Christmas with just my hubby, my cat Lizzie and I. She is very entranced with the tree and the lights, all the tissue paper and exciting cardboard tubes from the wrapping paper.

After leaving the JWs I decided I could choose to just do those things that felt right and I enjoyed. I like decorating, baking, etc, so I did that, presents were simple, and we stayed home and had a quiet time. I got away from that when we moved closer to my husband's family, we started spending holidays with them. After the fiasco at Thankgiving, even he realized we have to put a stop to it. No more family drama. They will be mad, but I am not doing it.

I think it's OK to do Christmas, but I totally get that it is not everyones cup of tea. You should do whatever part of it appeals to you and skip the rest. We didn't get out of a cult to then have to do What someone else thinks we have to do. The whole idea is to have freedom to choose.

I am an INFP, what are you?

Xanthippe

I hate all this ridiculous advertising for really expensive presents. Do people really give TVs and computers at Xmas? I give a lot of small boxes of chocolates Hortensia (because I love chocolate). I usually buy them in November when you get a lot of special offers including but one get one free. Some of my favourite presents have been homemade jam, chutney and buscuits - I enjoyed them for weeks after Xmas was over.

Christmas presents

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