What Am I thinking????? (page 2)

butalbee

Yes, Jason, I'm feeling very much insane tonight, er, today. They all look so happy on the outside, so much love in the air....I'm feeling vulnerable, They've always in some way been a part of my life, so I don't know.........maybe I'll wake up tomorrow morning and kick myself in the head for these crazy ass thoughts...

Yerusalyim

BUT remember, one (good) definition of insanity is to keep trying the same thing expecting different results. (If I just hit my head on the brick wall, the door will open, right?)

YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

wonderwoman77

I did this before. I thought what if and all those things that you mentioned going through your head, but then I thought about how much happier I am to be out of that organization, and how natural my new beliefs and ideas feel. And I thought, that if God is a God of love as I belief he will not be as judging as the JW's anyway. And if the JW are right, then that is life. I cannot control that. I will be happy now. I am not going to stop living and return to oppression, even if it was for everlasting life, because that is not the life I choose or the life that feels right to my soul.... Just my thoughts

bitter mango

What Am I thinking?????

maybe you think that by saying you are considering joining dubs that you are going to get a ton of attention and pleads not to go from all the people on the board?! i only said maybe

the scalpel shines in god's sunshine
street lights whisper pain
down here near the poison stream our god has gone insane

Yadira Angelini

What if butalbee wouldn't have posted this thread? Thank God she did! and you guys are helping her. butalbee, daughter, hang in there, your friends will get you out, love,

Yadira

SYN

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not you too ButalBee! Don't you even THINK about it!

"Until they become conscious, they will never rebel. Until they rebel, they will never become conscious." - George Orwell

LittleToe

Bee:
Have I introduced you to the bosom of MY wickedness?

refiners fire

Typical Godless person.
Wailing out to God as soon as youre in a bit of Trouble.
Well, He wont listen to you!
Youre DAMNED Jezebel.
DAMNED.
MU-AHhahaha.

Lady Lee

Bee
The process you are going through is two-fold
Firstly, your reaction and thoughts are a product of the mind control that all JWs experience - that "Where should we go?" mentality that just on the odd chance they are not perfect no one else is either. That was drummed into our heads pretty deep. Sometimes the loss for a healthy replacement triggers those thoughts whether the replacement is spiritual belief or friendship

Secondly as Yerusalyim stated - this group is like an addiction. Denial is what keeps it going. Denial of the self - emotionally, cognitively, physically and spiritually. People are starved there and the denial makes them think they are well-fed.

The way out of both of these is REALITY. Reborn did an excellent job of bringing reality back. Focus on reality and truth. Reality is that you will not be happier going back. You will be trapped again and starved for all the freedoms you have the opportunity to attain now.

Close minded organizations breed close-minded people. They are closed off to the outside world and all the good things (not just the bad that the borg talks about) but worst of all they are closed off from themselves - their thoughts (you couldn't ask this question while in the borg without risking a judicial committee) their feelings (you would have to pretend you are a happy person in their happy organization) your feelings (doesn't matter if you are sick or tired - get to the meetings and service) and your spirituality (belive in God only in the way we teach you to believe). To me the personal loss is the worst. I lost myself once. Now I am free to be me.

Glad you have the freedom to come here and voice these thoughts. Most of us have them at one time or another. Although I don't think I've had any in a while now - just get sick thinking of going into a hall.

Aspire to inspire before you expire

Xena

hhhmmmm Mango I was having the same thoughts....aaahhh but what do we know?????

Hey my sister offered to set me up with a nice JW brother if I come back to the meetings....perhaps LT should introduce me to his wicked bosom

What Am I thinking?????

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