by winnie12 42 Replies latest jw experiences
Welcome to our nightmare, Winnie.
My advice is to not do anything different until you have a plan, a well researched plan that has a hope of a good outcome.
You are really lucky compared to most of us 'born ins' in that you have a non-JW Dad. Lean on him for support. I wish my Dad was a non-dub. Mine is a full blown nutcase.
Stick around and learn and have some fun with us.
Cheers
Chris
Hi Winnie. Welcome to the gang.
So sad to hear you've not been feeling well. The KH is not a great place to be if you suffer from low moods, depression and lack of confidence. Try and distance yourself. Have you thought about seeing a counselor? I'm not sure if it would involve money where you are.
College sounds a great idea but I agree with adamah, try staying close to home in the beginning. There will be student support there for you as well.
Build on your relationship with your dad.
Keep posting. You will find lots of support here. I am so glad I found these guys and you will too.
Love, QCF
If I was you I would not express my feelings to any elders jws or mum. Just be kind/neutral towards her, because everything you tell her will get passed on or the elders will question her, even the elders wives will question her if the husbands do not get answers they want. If she knows nothing she can say nothing.
Keep dads support, and get your education.
Hi Winnie, welcome to a place where no one will shun you for having different opinions from them.
Lots of good advice, especially the concise counsel JEN1 gives. The only thing I could add is that you just simply fade, miss more and more meetings, & no field service. Every time you get a shepherding call, you just give them the reasons you gave them before. They'll very soon give you up as a lost cause and leave you alone - that way you don't disassociate or get disfellowshipped and you get to keep your mother's love!
Create your OWN rules for THEIR game!
Trust me you are not alone. When I faded I only had 2 people who could pick up the phone and say hi. Of those 2. 1 was a pioneer who I suspect was trying to count me as a return visit. The other one accidentally dialed me by mistake. I had another pioneer knock on my door to count time, b4 she went to a bible study. Trust me this loving organization ain't loving at all.
Welcome to JWN, winnie12.
I am taking a quick break from work so I was able t do a quick read on your situation.
Please know that we are here for you, though far away.
I also came here with the same feeling only a few months ago and have felt the support from the forum members.
Meanwhile, please consider their advices. Take care of yourself.
Love yourself more.
That's it for now as I need to go back to my workstation!
Hugs from the Pacific.
OND
Welcome. My advice is not to do anything to drastic, too quickly. Now you know what the problem is, you know there is a solution, so take heart in that. Don't disassociate or talk to others about your faith. Not even your mother. You are unlikely to change her, and telling her your doubts is the surest way to lose her. Slowly fade, go to uni, make new friends, and you will find life gets better for you.
Welcome Winnie. Lots of good advice for you already.
I echo what has been said. Focus on your future and and your education.
Best wishes, Bill
Welcome Winnie12, I can also relate to your story. My father was not in the "truth." He insisted that I get a proper education. Today I am eternally grateful to him for insisting that I go to university. My mother is a Witness and my only dependant. I got her on my side with the UN/OSCE fiasco and the JWs handling of pedophiles (she has been molested as a child and HATES pedophiles). The rest of the Witnesses in my life did not matter, all of them "good weather friends," not important at all. The last straw that broke the camels back was when she saw how the Witnesses treated me after I revealed that I don't agree with a lot of what they are doing and saying (I was disfellowshipped and shunned - no love there). All of the best with your quest for freedom!
Winnie,
Welcome! You are obviously an open, intelligent individual. Please do go to university - you will love it. Living in another country will give you just the distance you need to reflect upon & plan the rest of your life. As mentioned already by many other posters, you will always have a listening ear (or 100!) here on JWN. It is so good to know others out there feel similar pain and confusion and hope.
gorgia
