Phizzy said-
But I find that the more I naturally feel a distance from my JW past, the more the JW family are no longer part of my life in the sense that I wish to include them in things that they would not be part of apart from the blood tie.
Much as my non-JW relatives were put in that position by me whilst I was a JW, I find that the JW part of my family is like that now to me, simply not part of my life.
That very parallel, that I am doing to my JW family what I used to do to my non-JW aunts and cousins etc, is what gives me that twinge of guilt, but I cannot find it in me to be better than they are in this regard.
That's it, in a nutshell:
People who are attracted to joining the JWs 'self-select', since for many, the requirement to push away their non-believing family members over theological differences is rather extreme and is a 'show-stopper' for many; they'd see it as too high a price to pay to join a religion (which is ONE warning sign of a cult; trying to control your social interactions outside of the group), since a reasonable question is whether accepting a religion warrants breaking apart pre-existing familial bonds, etc. Most non-believers (and even believers) would say "NO, WAY, JOSE!", since for them, religion shouldn't cause a break in families: that's not loving.
So you'd have to be a bit of an extremist to become a JW, in the first place, since turning your backs on non-believing family is admittedly extreme (UNLESS you have toxic non-believing family members, and are looking for an excuse to avoid them).
But fact remains, many were willing to throw their family members under the bus at some point, and it's not like someone's personality and emotional bonding skills will suddenly change overnight; only the names change, and one gradually becomes more comfortable with an uncomfortable detente. My family dynamics (eg my Mom's relationship with her Worldly family, who lived 2,000 miles away) was a risk factor that partly explains why the JWs seemed so appealing to her: she had an alcoholic parent, and joining gave her an excuse to not return to celebrate holidays, etc. We grew up viewing them as "the others", and it was encouraged.
Adam
...OUTLAW