AUTISM and JW children

apostatekate

I was a JW kid. I remember having to sit still through long, boring meetings. I remember being taken to the book room for numerous spankings. There was always a line in front of the door of the book room of parents with their wiggly (normal) kids. No Sunday school was provided for us. We were expected to keep up with the adults and it was awful.

Skip ahead to now, I am a mother of an autistic child. Autism has seemingly increased quite a bit from those times and I think about how it would affect our family if my son was forced to sit through Kingdom Hall. He has no filter, he does not know what "shhh, quiet" means. He's five, but he acts like a much younger child. Sensory issues and obsessions might make it impossible for him to wear the monkey suit JW kids are required to wear. And, to take him out in "service" would result in meltdowns of epic proportions. The grocery store and restaurants are enough to make him vomit. In and out of a car seat (because kids are required to be in car seats, unlike when I was sitting in laps back in the 70s and 80s) probably makes it hard for any parent/child going "house to house" these days.

I just wonder how sensitive the organization is to children with special needs, or if kids with autism are lined up in front of the door of the book room, waiting for their spanking. Are the parents blamed for their bad behavior? I was accused and medicated for ADHD when I was in fact a normal child who like normal children have difficulty sitting in an uncomfortable chair listening to a boring talk for two solid hours.

sir82

how sensitive the organization is to children with special needs

The WTS has contempt for children of any age / ability - what makes you think they have any special compassion for those with special needs?

apostatekate

I wonder if any parents have been disfellowshiped or at least disciplined by the higher ups for skipping meetings or leaving meetings due to not being able to control a child with autism?
I wonder how many compassionate JWs talk behind their backs, heh heh...

nugget

As the mother of an autistic child I have to say that meetings were a place of intolerance and torture for my child. No allowances are made for normal children and even less for autistic ones.

My son could not keep quiet for 2 minutes let alone 2 hours. He would talk to himself constantly throughout the meeting and line up pens between the chair legs. Elders would tell him to control his children so my husband would take him out to discipline him and then tell him not to cry when he came back into the hall but as soon as he saw me he would burst into freash tears and go back out to be disciplined again. In the end I would take him out supposedly to discipline him having the appropriate stern face and we would go into the second school where he could chatter to his hearts content. I was always shocked how intolerant others were and how they did not get that it wasn't a discipline issue.

When my son started self harming in school and hiding under tables fearful of bad books falling from the sky I told my husband that he could not go to meetings in the evening. Autistic children need to adhere to a strict routine so taking him out late twice then once a week messed with that and made a bad situation worse.

Field service was hard as if he was cold, hot, tired, hungry, bored or uncomfortable he would play up and make a fuss. A non autistic child can be encouraged to be polite and not complain on the door but an autistic child will always tell it like it is. I would have to limit first call and then switch to calls or go on calls with just me and the children so that we could do what we could manage without limiting others. Others were obsessed by time so it was a struggle. Assemblies were even worse and often we left early because our son had had enough.

When the elders asked me how they could help me get back to evening meetings I told them that when they could guarantee there would nott be a discussion about God's judgement, murder, death, crime. people dying in flames, earthquakes and other natural diusasters, persecution and violence then we could come as these things played on my sons fears of unlikely events leading to fear and stress. They said that there was no way they could do this. When I said that I could not see a place for my son in the organsiation they agreed with me.

Autistic children are excluded from much of the social scene because other children see them as odd. My son had no friends in the organisation.

I thank my son because he opened my eyes to the casual cruelty and intolerance of an organisation that said it spoke for god. I could not believe that God would set up a place where vulnerble children did not feature.

apostatekate

http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/102008329

Here's an article from the WT. So, apparently if a person with autism keeps *trying* to do the Witness-mandated things you'll eventually get used to it and want to do it. Yep, the cure for autism. (It doesn't mention children with autism.)

"

As Claire’s confidence increased, Chris suggested that she try to serve as an auxiliary pioneer, a term Jehovah’s Witnesses use for baptized Witnesses who spend 50 hours or more each month sharing their Bible-based beliefs with others. “I can’t do that,” Claire responded.

However, Chris encouraged her by saying that even if she didn’t achieve her goal of 50 hours that month, at least she could be happy that she had tried. So Claire tried, and she really loved the experience. She did it again and again, enjoying it all the more. This built up her confidence, especially when she found many people who wanted to learn more about the Bible.

Claire took to heart the encouragement she heard at Christian meetings to consider whether there was anything stopping her from becoming a regular pioneer, or full-time evangelizer. She decided to become one. The result? In Claire’s words, “It’s the best thing to do!” She has become much closer to those in her congregation and has developed many friendships. Children love being in her company, and she gladly helps them as they preach together."

YUCK!!!

DATA-DOG

The WTBTS's idea of special needs for children is the arena floor at the DC. Besides that, you are on your own.

DD

apostatekate

Nugget,
What you just wrote is exactly the way I imagined Kingdom Hall and House-to-House would be for my autistic son.

I even sent it to my mom, who has been disfellowshiped for many years BUT refuses to look at apostate literature and forums. I thought she should see it because I keep wanting to encourage her, that she made the right decision 25 years ago to leave, but she's still riddled with guilt.

But, it seems that your son and my son are very much alike. And, it just proves once again that this is an organization of mans' whims, and not of God.

Lozhasleft

Wow Nugget, the experiences you relate make me so sad that you had to endure that as a family. I am a grandmother to hubby's daughter's child. She is 4 and autistic. She's so delightful we adore her, but there's no way she can go to mainstream school, and I've often wondered how this would be handled in the KH. Now I know. Disgraceful and shocking as usual. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Loz x

nugget

I think what is worse is the level of ignorance surrounding special needs children. As they can't contribute to the tasks they are not tolerated and are unvalued.

My nephew has severe autism and used to freak out every time silence fell and people bowed their heads in prayer. My sister was told that the elders thought he was demon possessed, she was also told that she was being punnished for some secret sin. It was positively medieval. I feel that they had more extreme views there than the norm but since there is no guidance or understanding of autism elders are free to interpret behaviour in a way they understand.

The society is no fit place for children whether they have special needs or not, some of the material prepared for them is very frightening and in some cases inappropriate. Topics of a sensitive nature are discussed openly at meetings and there is no help for any youth who does not conform to the expected paradigm.

I cannot see what this religion offers any child.

Xanthippe

Nugget you have been through hell trying take your child to those awful meetings. The only good thing is as you say it showed you just how cruel they can be. I don't understand how they could say there was no place for your child if they believe it's the truth.

AUTISM and JW children

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