AUTISM and JW children

by apostatekate 34 Replies latest social family

• 

  nugget

  I think congregations cope better when the child looks disabled they struggle when the disability is less tangible. In all my time as a witness I never heard a local needs talk or any talk about how to connect with someone with ASD or how to show compassion and tolerance in meetings. It is as if in Watchtower world these people do not exist. In assemblies provision is made for the elderly, blind, deaf and physically impaired but no provision is made for ASD children. In the shepherding the flock book I am not aware of a single entry on autism or shepherding families with special needs.

  At assemblies my son got distressed when there was feedback on the speakers, when the sun got in his eyes, when he was cramped. He found being outside all day unbearable. It was ok at first because when he was very small there was mothers and babies and then later we were able to retreat to the car if necessary. But the last year the society said there would be no car parking for anyone other than disabled and everyone had to go by coach which is fine if everyone is physically able but a disaster if you have a child on the autistic spectrum who may have a meltdown and need to leave at any time.

  I think that because they cannot contribute to the tasks then they are not included in the plans or preparation. There is no place for them long term in the organisation unless they are very high functioning and have their religion as one of their obsessions.
• 

  man in black

  Thank you for sharing your story. My wife is a speech pathologist and I have developed a very sensitive sense when around autistic children and their parents.

  when we were witnesses, it would just floor me mentally and emotionaly to see how uncaring the elders and the congregation as a whole looked at kids who did not wear the perfect little "jw suit".
• 

  Julia Orwell

  Our congregation had a few with special needs but they were older. The ones with Downs Syndrome seem to cope ok with crowds though, but we did have a girl with such severe retardation and autism combined she was more like (and I say this in the nicest possible way) like a cagey pet dog than a kid. She would identify you by sniffing you, needed to be brought into the hall through the back, and would totally freak when everyone stood up for the songs. She would yell out randomly during the meeting. People in the congregation were generally pretty ok as she was new: she had all the help she needed with the girl while she was a 'study' but after her baptism and then the study conductor who helped her a lot at the meetings moved away she just faded because it was too difficult.

  It also doesn't help that some JWs believe that vaccinations cause autism, so if you do bring your autistic kid to the meeting you might have guilt heaped on you from when you vaccinated your kids. I can imagine the guilt a person with a child with special needs has because they're constantly hearing do more, more more, and the woman in an iron lung who could pioneer and all that sort of thing, and here they are with full-time caring commitments. Many of the ones I've known with kids with special needs (physical or mental) have faded away, probably because the KH environment is intolerable for such families.
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  KateWild

  Hi Kate,

  Sorry I have not posted sooner. Nugget has been a great help to me since joining JWN and has helped me leave WT. She is a tolerant great individual that really wants to understand everything there is to know about Autism.

  My Son, is on the spectrum, he is diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. He is 12 and currently on restrictions. He has been removed as an unbaptised publisher, is not allowed to participate at meetings and is not allowed to be in the Theocrapic Misery School.

  He used to get violent with teachers at school, when the schools were not taking his autism seriously. At age 10, he was a confident outgoing autistic child, very active and expressive. His dad beats him and manipulates him to control him, very abusively. One day a few weeks after an incident at school, my son was told to meet with the elders at his dads request.

  My son wanted me at the meeting, needless to say his dad refused and insisted he meet them alone, at 10 yrs old. Low and behold he had a bad reaction and shouted at the elders for not allowing them to have me, his mother present. They put him on restrictions and he is 12 now and not met the elders since to lift his restrictions.

  My son is an atheist, lives with a physically abusive JW father in good standing and only gets to visit his mother once a week for 24hrs. He hates the elders. He is shy and flinches all the time now. The elders took away my sons confidence and passion. He is in drama club at school, hopefully this will help him. Sept, 2008 pg 22 magazine, say nothing of any real value, any guidance the elders got from that article was not followed.

  There is our experince Kate, nice to mee you here on JWN, take care love Kate xx
• 

  LilieKat

  I studied Autism in children. The Bible teaches us, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength"-Philippians 4:13.

  Autism means children need more training and more repetition so they can learn things. In college, we studied Carl Jung "An American psychologist" who worked with Autistic children and was able to literally raise their IQ within a year, and more years of training. He started with them when they were about 4 years old and sometimes younger. You have to be consistent with whatever rules you give them, and explain and re-explain things over and over again to them so they can understand what is going on. Read Carl Jung's books on infantile autism and training children to be functional children, teens and adults.

  Please do not take offense but I would not make an Autistic child sit through a worship service. I would have Bible studies with them at home. Trying to make them be still for a long time is not doable. Let a trustworthy babysitter watch your children during the service, and when you get back home start reading different Bible stories to them. Then go over each Scripture with them and explain it and for a praise session ask your kids to explain the good things that God has done for them that day.

  That's my best advice for you.
• 

  nugget

  LilieKat do you have an autistic child? I only ask this because whilst training and clear explaination is invaluable to helping them Bible studies based on JW doctrine are both damaging and unnecessary. Quite honestly learning to cope with their peers and make sense of the world are more important lessons than religion. My son was 8 when we left no longer an infant. He was not badly behaved but the meetings were damaging on many levels, it wasn't just how long they were and the demands to pay attention and be quiet, it was the nature of the doctrine that was the issue.

  Since children with ASD can fear unlikely events such as meteors falling from the sky etc some of the literature including My Book of Bible Stories plays on these fears. Some of those stories are truly barbaric. When we left we threw out all the societies books because the illustrations terrified my son and brought about incidents of hysteria at school.

  My son has attended church services and particpated in school assemblies with no difficulty, The main difference has not been the length of time or solomn occasion but the tolerance and inclusion. He has not had nightmares over St Georges day parades or carol services or even easter assemblies. These occasions emphasised positive messages for him. Whilst he only attends occasionally when the scouts or school have an event he is comfortable to go and has not been taken out of the building to be disciplined.

  It is the religion itself and its doctrine that are harmful for any child not just those with special needs.
• 

  cantleave

  The last thing I would indoctrinate an autistic child with is The Bible, a book that promotes intolerance, slavery, child sacrifice and genocide. It would be tantamount to child abuse in my opinion.
• 

  andys

  I am very happy, (am 35 yrs old) to be totally free of the Watchtower both physically and mentally, I have a high functioning type of autism PDD-Nos, about the only thing that the watchtower taught me is how to be a very good reader thats how I got out of the watchtower is when doing research and reading books, the one book that helped me out was Crisis of Conscience.

  I would have to say growing up was hell for me going to the meetings, also being different and not accepted and alot of times I was kept out of anything that was going on socially, now after being out of the watchtower for 3 years I finally have friends to do things with and for the very first time one of my friends is asking me to be a groomsman in his wedding:) Inside the watchtower I didn't have any friends an not even was asked to be involved in anything like a wedding so this be the very first time I be a groomsman:)
• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  andys ... Yay for you! Have fun that day!

  As for the OP, JW meetings are not encouraging or up building for anyone, young or old.

  I am not aware of knowing any autistic people but thank you for giving us an idea of how it has been for you and your family.

  LoisLane
• 

  PhilJonesIII

  Take an autistic child to the meetings? Good luck on that one. Although the condition varies considerably from child-to-child I cant imagine a more damaging environment. My own son (14) has a routine set in stone and is by no means misbehaved but asking him to sit for an hour in silence....not a chance.

  If he is not engaged then he just loses it. Attention span is short though he will return time and again until he grasps what he is trying to learn. Im very fortunate in that I get a ton of professional support from people who are genuinely fond of him.

  I left the org years ago and given the attitude toward dicipline at the time I can see no way an autistic child could go through that without the treatment amounting to abuse: the kind that will lead to regression.

  Its a special day when I get a hug from Louis. In the last two years he has gone from not being able to tie his shoelaces to making stop-motion films with Lego and a DSLR. Credit to him for his determination. That ability was bought with a lot of effort: 5 mins here, 10 there and maybe half an hour elsewhere. For those with an autistic child of the same type, you know all about it.

  You also know that one negative experience will knock it all down like a house of cards.

  What would he learn in a Kingdom Hall? Nothing actually. Unless engaged directly you might as well be speaking in Swahili.

  You are braver than me for even trying.