How to Cause a Hardcore JW Brain to Malfunction

by Apognophos 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    I am leaving it to the reader to decide whether this trick is funny in a cruel way, or potentially beneficial. It can definitely be used for evil, that is to say, personal amusement. Then again, it could be a kind way to help someone start thinking outside the box. Let the reader have discernment. (Examples are from an actual conversation of mine.)

    Recipe

    Ingredients:

    - A loyal Witness who loves everything the slave publishes.

    - Opportunity for an unguarded conversation about doctrine with said Witness. Probably you will have to be an active Witness in order to be able to pull this conversation off.

    - Advance preparation on any new light in the magazines.

    Directions:

    Step 1: Wait for "new light" to shine down from Brooklyn. Remember, though, that JWs do not often call it "new light" these days because the Society realized it's not the best choice of words. "New understanding" is more common. Yes, you just got hit with meta-new light. Um, understanding.

    Example: A Sunday lesson explains that the remnant will be taken to heaven during the Great Tribulation, not after Armageddon as previously suggested. ("Tell Us, When Will These Things Be?", July 15, 2013 WT)

    Step 2: Preferably wait for new light to be brought up in conversation rather than bringing it up yourself. You don't want to tip your hand, so it's better to be cautious. Maybe just say, "That was a nice lesson, huh? Some new information there", and see if they bring up any details of the new light.

    Example: (JW making spiritual conversation:) "Wasn't it interesting to learn that the anointed won't stay on Earth throughout the tribulation?"

    Step 3: Pounce on old light in nicest way possible.

    Example: (Me:) "Oh yes. It makes a lot of sense. I always used to wonder*, at what point do the anointed get from earth to heaven if they're still on Earth after Armageddon? You know, since we'll all be perfect then. No one will be dying."

    *You can use someone else as a proxy, too: "Someone once said to me in field service...".

    Step 4: Watch JW begin to suffer from cognitive malfunction.

    Their "right brain" will emotionally want to defend the teaching that was in place for years ("Hey, that's not illogical! I bet there's a good explanation! Let's think of it!").

    But then their "left brain" will logically remind them that they're not supposed to believe that anymore ("Wait, I can't defend an old teaching! I shouldn't even think about it in depth, it's obsolete now!").

    They may say something that makes no sense while their brain is fighting with itself.

    Example: (JW:) "Well... we'll be progressing towards perfection...." (Uhhhh... okay? It sounded like she wanted to say that maybe the anointed would still die of old age in the new system. Then she suddenly stopped talking.)

    Step 5 (optional): Be helpful and say something to resolve the tension, or be naughty and say something to add more humor to the situation. Or both.

    Example:

    (Me:) "Well, maybe they would just get raised up one day, like Elijah was, you know, fiery chariots [whooshing noise]. Well, Elijah didn't go to heaven*. (pause) Oh well, no point in thinking about it now (smile)"

    (JW:) Silence.

    *JWs can't acknowledge that people like Enoch and Elijah actually were taken to heaven so they make funny excuses like Enoch getting just plain killed by God, and Elijah getting dropped off by the chariots on a mountain. It was a cheap shot that naturally went over the JW's head.

    This is surprisingly fun to do, as it allows you to criticize a teaching and get away with it, since it's now held to be wrong, er, less right.

    Note: Do not say, "The new understanding makes more sense." You don't want to sound like you think you know better than the GB. You only want to say that the new understanding makes sense, and then imply that it makes more sense than the old light by pointing out a flaw in the old light. If you do this in the right way, it will sound like you are simply agreeing with the new teaching by explaining how you're relieved you don't have to wonder about that one part of the old teaching anymore.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Apognophos -

    Recipe

    Ingredients:

    - A loyal Witness who loves everything the slave publishes.

    - Opportunity for an unguarded conversation about doctrine with said Witness. Probably you will have to be an active Witness in order to be able to pull this conversation off.

    - Advance preparation on any new light in the magazines.

    Add a bottle of Patron liberally drunk by JW(s) and shake them up figuratively and doctrinally speaking until they stumble away.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    Tried something similar with the fds thing and the jw just said, "but that's what we've always believed.." this from a jw of 40 years.

  • 3dogs1husband
    3dogs1husband

    almost everyone i am trying to save just does what they want and doesnt really care about the doctrine :(

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    I just wanna know one thing: If the "new, adjusted understanding" about [FILL IN THE BLANK] is correct, what was the old understanding?

  • XstuckX
    XstuckX

    Most JWs I try to bait into these conversations don't know what they used to believe let alone any "new understandings"

  • jonahstourguide
    jonahstourguide

    How many guesses do I get Oubliette ? One for every "adjustment"?

    jtg

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    Your plan assumes that the JW brain is functioning to begin with, in my opinion a fatal flaw in your idea.

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    jonahstourguide: How many guesses do I get Oubliette ? One for every "adjustment"?

    For some reason I'm guessing you won't need that many!

  • carla
    carla

    I must have missed or forgotten this "JWs can't acknowledge that people like Enoch and Elijah actually were taken to heave..."- what is the official stand today? or do they just gloss over it?

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