i have been inactive for a couple of years. He has too, but wants to go back. he has never researched anything about JWs. i told him about candace conti case and the thousands of others, about watchtower policies on child abuse. i told him how JWs feel superior, how they say that only JWs will survive Armaggedon. He was shaken by what i said. He responded that maybe the organization is imperfect, but that they teach the truth about the trinity, the paradise earth, etc. I would like to develop a response to that, but i am not sure how to go about it. any suggestions are more than welcome. he is willing ti listen, so that is a start. thank you.
i finally had "the truth" talk with the hubby
by monis 19 Replies latest jw friends
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monis
i should add that even though we ard inactive, i have never before really talked about why i faded. my husband was under the impression that it was because i was stumbled by the brothers. it was too painful for me to tell him that this religion that i wholeheartedly believed in most of my life is a cult. so we never talked about it until now. it felt good to get some of it out
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LostGeneration
If he was shaken by it, give him a little time, maybe a week or two. It can be real shocking to someone who isn't mentally ready. The last thing you want to do is dump an avalanche of 'truth about the truth' on him where he shuts down and just rejects it all.
Pick out his biggest objection and let him do the work, for example if its "paradise earth" then ask him where the term paradise earth appears in the bible. Then shut up and let him go do the research. Maybe he will use the CD library, or maybe he wanders on to the internet to see what other have to say about it, this is what you want.
One subject/question at a time.
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Simon
How does he know they teach the truth about those things? Why would an organization representing god and being told what 'the truth' was be guilty of doing those other things? Wouldn't god of all people know about them?
He needs to look at things objectively to decide if they are true or not, not from the position that the WTS is representing god.
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Billy the Ex-Bethelite
Perhaps he remembers the illustration that JWs used to use frequently:
Imagine that you were thirsty and someone gave you a glass of water... with just a little poison in it. Would you drink it, reasoning, "Well, it's mostly water, so that makes it okay." Of course not.
In a religion such as JWs, it's an all-or-nothing acceptance of what is handed to you. You learn that there is no fiery hell, but you also have to accept that the organization is prepared to protect pedophiles from prosecution, and will protect their reputation in the congregation which will endanger other families. Shouldn't all Christians be prepared to anything to protect children from sexual abuse? However, if someone continues to idolize the WT organization, they learn to justify the idea that protecting children is much less important than trying to protect the reputation of WT corporation. Should the primary purpose of an elder be to protect the weakest in the congregation or protect the criminals?
So in that illustration, what WT is serving up is indeed water and toxic poisons, all sweetened with Kool-Aid flavoring of "paradise" and "divine approval".
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humbled
Let him marinate as someone else suggested.
And after a while ask him what have been some trying moments or troubling issues that seemed to conflict with his conscience. There will have been some--we just were taught to repress them.
Gently encourage the loving part of him to bond with you and the generous feelings that the WT represses in us:justice, openness, good fun, etc.
All the best!
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steve2
Monis the most important fact you divulge is he has never researched the organization. He literally needs time to get his head around his somewhat simplistic take on religious issues. You are light years ahead of him. The risk is "frightening" him back into the safe, simple-minded thinking of the organization. Slowly bit surely is best. Is he a thinker? Is je concerned about biggdr issies than (yawn) whether or not the trinity is true?
As with all things in life, watch out for indigestion. One excellent strategy is to also focus on pleasant replacements - oh, how heavy is the household in which most of the energy is around aspects of the organization. Laughter, getting out in the sunshine (weather permitting!) Having nice things to share and look forward to.Sometimes, couples inadvertently swap the agony of active involvement in their local congregation with the agony of trying to get away.
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ABibleStudent
Hi monis, Ask your husband, what would cause him to lose faith in the WTBTS and then ask him simple questions for him to prove to you (actually himself) that the WTBTS has the truth. IMHO if he considers himself a Christian he should be following Jesus Christ instead of the WTBTS, so how can the WTBTS be teaching the "Truth" if the WTBTS's doctrines and teachings are contray to the teachings of Jesus Christ?
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert
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Vidiot
Simon - "He needs to look at things objectively to decide if they are true or not..."
Sometimes I suspect that's the biggest fear loyal JWs have, because on a fundamental level they know (consciously or otherwise) that examining WT beliefs and policiy objectively will ultimately compel them to leave.
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Oubliette
You might find some useful reasoning points in this thread:
"Jehovah ALWAYS had/used an organization". How would you reply?