by Mimilly 22 Replies latest jw experiences
BobsGirl, I'll drink to that!
Mimilly. Thank you for your words. There are so many people here with different life experiences; everyone here has really opened my eyes, and it's really helped. I'm changing by the day. I started to post here selfishly for my own therapy, but I really hope I can make a difference now by being honest about myself - I'm just starting to get used to thinking for myself, and maybe there are one or two lurkers out there that think - "hey, thats me too!"
Oh, Mimilly!
After posting your story, no wonder you were sleepless last night! Chat must have seemed so trivial to you after you poured out your gut like that!
I, too, continue to be amazed at what some people can endure and survive and still triumph!
I am certain your insights and experience will bring tremendous value to the board.
Welcome.
outnfree
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts -- John Wooden
Mimily
What you have been through has made me speechless. I thought my childhood with the JWs was bad until I read your experiences! Take heart - I always believe the first step to healing is opening up those wounds and letting them out to the fresh air.
May you find this place a place of comfort and strength.
Searcher :-)
outnfree - I did not think that chat was trivial. See what I mean about comparisons? We are on automatic pilot regarding that. Posting my story did open things up, but there are triggers in everyday life. I've learned how (after LOTS of practice)to deal with it. The only way out is through. (you will find me a definite 'quote' person)
On bad days, I pump up the music (Ordinary Day by Great Big Sea is my anthem; Lean on me, and the theme from Friends and 'Alive' by Edwin are my faves) When I find that words fail me (I call this wordlessness), I sit at the piano and the emotions come out my fingers. I have two soulmates in my life who remind me daily of what is important. Tjiske and Diego, my dogs, my best friends, are the ones who taught me unconditional love, the thrill of oozing in a sunbeam, and the poetry of stretching. My cat Beaster, wraps his paws around my neck and purrs into my ear when I'm crying. Even my Siamese Fighting fish, Sushi, makes me laugh when she sleeps in her castle.
I've two treasures for daughters, Beth and Shelene. Watching them grow up with unconditional love and acceptance is a sight to behold. We're extremely close, and those who visit our home love the comfy feeling here. Ppl are encouraged to be themselves here. If yer having a bad day, say so, etc. I consider myself fabulously rich in what is important. While some days I only have the strength to take it one breath at a time, there are others where it's baby steps, then steps. I don't fake it anymore. When I feel I'm in the self-pity mode, I listen to the mp3 'Overcome' by Live - the WTC edition. We learn from each other's experiences; The give and take that leads to healing with time. But please, please everyone - don't minimize your own experiences and feelings. Things can certainly be put into perspective by listening to how someone else coped etc., but be true to yourselves. It's your lives, don't live them for someone else.
Mimily,
Yours is a very heartbreaking story. I am glad that you and your kids pulled through. Although you still have nightmares every now and then, I am confident that you will pull through as you are better than the ones who abused you. Remember, if you succeed in life or if you live well, that will Piss Them Off. So, go for it girl, strive for a better life, be more successful than they are'cause you really are.
My heart goes to you and you have my support.
I like to thank you for replying me on email on what I was going thru, and if you need someone to talk to, you got my email.
A big hug to you.
Ajax
I am so sorry about the repeats in messages. My computer froze up. Doh!
((((( Mimilly )))))
Welcome, welcome, welcome, to the board!!!!
NOW here goes QUEENIE...THANK GOD my father (Goodwill person) and ex-husband (JW brother) both died of natural causes actually lucky..I was told by one of my therapist just because one is related does not mean U have to love them much less like them as they are just people nothing more nothing less..I see so many abused women that when given the out of their situation for the sake of their chidren (INCEST/rape) will stand by their man and to hell with their kids soo regular....I have gottn to the point myself to mind my own business and worry about what LINDA is doing within our 4 walls with my daughter LISA and MAMIE kitty !!! READING YOUR STORY made me pissed off I wanted to stab him myself right between his legs in his nuts--not kill him but would make a believer of him and the fear of GOD and QUEENIE in him at least !!! LOV YA honey LISA has a key chain that say "I am almost perfect that it scares me" and I have one that says "I am stressed to kill" ((((((HUGS))))))
Mimilly,
I hate what you have been through. And it brings to mind the old saying,"when you think you have it bad, there is always someone who has it worse." The tales of my life are by no means "fairy tales", but you have had it much worse. But just like you I really try to use the negative things that have happened in my life and turn them into positives. It makes me stronger and helps many others, just like you have done with your post. You GO girl!!!!
Mimilly, my heart is with you and your indomitable spirit! The next time I even dare to think I had it rough growing up, I will remember your story. I, too, have gone to a twelve step program, and feel the same way you do about the spirituality. I laughed when I read that, because you sounded so much like me! Know that this lady thinks you're great, awesome in fact, and sends you big, warm, hugs and love!
A Fellow Survivor!
