There Are Gay JW's?

stormrider

There is a question at the end of all this I promise!! Please bear with me.

Hi all, this is the first time I've been to any site like this. So, quickly... I'm Ethan, from KY, but currently in Michigan. 20yrs old (born in 81), attended meetings since 85, baptised 95.

I've known I was gay since I was like 12 or 13. But I knew that Jehovah didn't approve of it and so I prayed and studied and pioneered and even dated a girl for two years (16-18).

As the years went by and my feelings toward men didn't subside, or at the very least I didn't get interested in women, I became more and more depressed and ashamed and felt as though I sinned just thinking like that.

Finally around the age of 18 I decided there is no way I could go on like that. I hated myself for my feelings, I hated the church for telling me it was wrong, and I hated Jehovah for allowing them in the first place since they're wrong. I decided I either had to end it all or I had to leave the church.

The problem was I was from a small town, around 25,000 people, with a BIG congregation, in fact the largest in our district, over 200 publishers as ONE congregation. I didn't really know many people outside the Kingdom Hall since I grew up basically a Witness, certainly no one gay. So I really didn't know to whom or where I would turn after I finally left.

Anyway, it was really hard for me. I did and still do believe everything that I was taught and everything I read for myself. I honestly do believe that JW's do have the true religion. It's just that I mentally couldn't handle living a double life anymore.

Over the course of two years (18-20) I stopped attneding all but a rare meeting. Eventually, I found a few gay friends, but none that really fit in with my view on life and morality. I moved to Michigan August of 2001 mostly to get away from that small town where everyone I knew was a Witness and I just wasn't brave enough to live my life the way I wanted/needed to live it in front of them.

Since I've been in Michigan I've found a few gay friends, I'm happier now in the sense that I no longer have to hide who I really am and that is a huge weight off my shoulders. But, I often times feel very much alone. I don't smoke, I don't drink much, I don't like the "evil" bars and clubs because I'm still such a good boy so I even now still don't lead a "typical" life, gay or straight.

My question is... has anyone else gone through this before? I ask because I have never met or heard of any other gay Witnesses. I'm not looking for anything really, I just wonder if I'm alone? Maybe someone else is out there who went through something like this? If so I'd like to hear how you dealt with it and how your life is going now. I'd also like to hear any comments anyone else has in regards me or my situation. Thanks in advance.

Yours,
Ethan

dungbeetle

http://www.gayxjw.org/

I've met Steve and John-Paul and John and Jim, they are just fabulous. Hopefully I will be seeign them all in June.

Peruse their site, email them and check out their discussion board and also their guestbook.

Enjoy.

RedhorseWoman

Well, Ethan, you've come to the right place.....and there are several others, also.

I'm sure that several of our gay posters will respond to you pretty quickly, but I can give you a couple of references immediately.

Check out http://www.gayxjws.org where you'll find a lot of information as well as a discussion board. I think that you will also find a list there of Common Bond groups for your area. These groups consist of gay, as well as straight, ex-JWs who meet together for socializing as well as support.

Billygoat

(((((Ethan)))))

You're plight is only one of many. There are a number of gays on this board, but there are some communities that cater specifically to the gay ex-JW. I wish I could help you find one of those where you're at, but until then stick around here. Welcome by the way!

You'll learn a lot here and make some good friends. We understand and learn to love you because you're an ex-JW - gay or straight it doesn't matter!

Andi

MikeMusto

Have you been to Chelsea?

Preston

Hi Ethan, and welcome to the board!

You ask, "Are there Gay JW's?" According to the society one cannot be gay and a JW. Whether the society is correct or not is not something I will argue on since I don't think this is what want to hear. Taking the Bible into consideration is more ambiguous since there are various interpretations on how you look at scripture (read THE GOOD BOOK by Peter Gomes, it's a very good, scholarly, unbiased look at the Bible's view of homosexuality).

Personally, I'm 23, and like you, I've known I was gay since I was very young. Also, like you, I grew up as a good kid, and I'd like to think of myself as still that way. There was a point in my life when I was actively going to meetings where I felt like I was coerced into living a "straight" life. I found the contradicitons alarming and I decided to leave. I confessed what I felt to my elder body, and instead of being understood, I felt threatened.

I honestly think that the majority of people in my former congregation don't know what it's like to be gay and growing up as a JW. They aren't homophobic, they just don't understand. It can be a life of self-hatred, anguish, and unfortunately self-destruction. Personally, I couldn't have of it. No matter what my relationship with God is, I needed to live a happy, functional life, one that I couldn't have in my congregation.

I say Bravo Ethan, for having the strength and fortitude to realize who you are despite all the other conflicting emotions you are dealing with right now. surprsingly there are many young gay guys like you who aren't involved with the club scene or the bar scene. If you ever get the chance e-mail me, I'd like to know more about you. Are you still close with your family? Are you out? Do you still pray? Keep in touch....

Preston.

Seeker4

I wrote about this on a post a few weeks ago. Preston is not quite correct. I have known JW's who were gay. Bethelites even. What you cannot be as one of JWs is a "practicing" homosexual. I think you understand what that means.

S4

Preston

I wrote about this on a post a few weeks ago. Preston is not quite correct. I have known JW's who were gay.

I was not saying that there are no Gay JW's, I was merely contrasting the picture that the society paints with the reality of seeker's post. I honestly believe (again, this is just my opinion) that the society automatically associates gay people with the act, and that they make a very real group of people in the organization totally invisible. Likewise, I don't think an organization like this makes it safe for any sincere gay christian (in itself, a contradiction to some) to feel visible. In essence, there are gay JW's, as seeker pointed out, unfortunately it becomes common for many people (like Ethan) to feel like they are the only one...

wonderwoman77

Welcome to the board ethan... I was a JW for most of my preteen and teen years. I however have been attracted to both sexes since I was about 10 (hit puberty). I am bisexual, I left the JW when I went to college. There are more xjw that are gay, bi, les, etc. There is a board called A Common Bond, it is for x jw that are homosexual. Feel free to come visit the board...

plmkrzy

While I was actively attending meetings yadda yadda.. I only knew one brother from personal expierence who openly admitted he was gay to a few of us. This does not include elders etc that im aware of. His personal answer for himself was to stay single and wait for the new system.
Don't know what he thought was going to happen then didn't ask.

http://ourworld.cs.com/pwmkwzy/PicturePage.html

There Are Gay JW's?

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