I like what ABible Student said. Text him and cancel, just be honest that you did not like the pressure he put you under with his visit, and "I will contact you if I have any need for you."
The eldaaaars again!!
by ILoveTTATT 36 Replies latest jw friends
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krejames
I agree with ABS and OTWO. some months ago I was being contacted by a well meaning elder - got the same advice on this forum and followed it. I just texted the elder and said I couldn't make it because I was busy at work and that I would contact him when things had calmed down. The aim, as others have said in the past, is to take control of the situation away from the elder. some weeks later the elder contacted me again and I didn't reply. the last contact I had was a greetings card posted through my door.
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ILoveTTATT
Ok... So I will go with "I will contact you if I need you. Please don't show up unannounced at my house."
I didn't avoid him because he came unannounced, to my house, in the middle of his serve-us.
About telling my boss... it is in reality in my best interest, work-wise, to stay in the city I am in. But I cannot just go out of the house without raising major red flags.
Thankfully, today I had a chance to talk to my dad about TTATT. I placed the cards on the table: either this is the true religion, or it's not. But you have to make a decision soon dad, and support me on this.
I used my best info that I have: we went through dozens of the quotes I have on vaccination.
I felt sad because I have never seen that look in my dad's eyes: he now KNOWS and FEELS the deception. But I had to do it. We talked about vaccinations and how there's NO WAY that the people supposedly guided by God could have made such "beyond stupid" statements. Then we talked about Candace Conti, about how it's a real-estate scam, how the elders are pushed for "renos"...
I really let it all loose today... I REALLY need my dad on my side. He is every day more firmly on my side.
I want to keep my family. I really do. F!ck my freedom for a little bit, my parents raised me very lovingly and it would be just wrong to never tell them ttatt.
There's a chance that my mom won't wake up, but it's definitely worth the try.
ILTTATT
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jgnat
Be strong. You are doing well.
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losingit
You got it , ILTTATT!
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Pete Zahut
They dropped in on you unannounced and sort of put you on the spot. To be considerate, if you really don't want to go, I'd text him that I wasn't able to meet him after all as planned. I'd offer no excuses, explanatons or appologies and wouldn't answer any replies he might make on this subject or any other. If he doesn't get the hint that you don't want to talk to him, that's his problem. I wouldn't base any actions regarding your life and employment, on trying to get away from JW's.
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Fernando
One important rule is YOU ask the questions and THEY provide answers.
They do NOT get to ask questions, and you do NOT answer any.
A simple question like: "is legalism apostasy" should see them tied in knots they can never unravel (provided you are fully familiar and can see and gently call their ignorance and misdirection, with more questions, or with a not satisfactory rating).
Personally I would forever hold out on them for a clear, honest, unambigious answer that makes sense and is from the heart and lines up perfectly with g79 6/8 pp. 27-28 (and ISoCF as well as CoC).
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smiddy
Do not meet with him , you can control this outcome by not being intimidated by his / their tactics. Use whatever stategies come to mind . The WTB&TS do it all the time to avoid embarrasing questions about failed prophecies , expectations , evident realities that never eventuated , more often than not they blame it on the rank and file , you know the people who spend hour after hour in the door to door work with not so much as a bible study.Its not our fault ,you read into it more than what we intended. Yeah right .
You are in control of your life nobody else . If you give them control then you are just a puppet.........Sorry no sympathy.
smiddy
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joe134cd
I sort of don't know why, but my fade has been the exact opposite. In the whole time I've had no visit from elders, and only 2 people could be bothered to come around and see me. To be honest I don't know if I'm insulted or happy.
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Julia Orwell
I dealt with them by deflecting them really. I would make small talk, ask about non-JW things and talk about what I was up to ie my work and that. THey'd start steering it toward JW things by saying, "Everyone at the KH misses you..." and I'd parry it by saying, "Yeaaaah." or "You get that." and then change the subject. One thing I learned from over a decade of being a JW in a non-JW home was how to deflect difficult questions, change the subject or find a reason to leave the room. It is a skill that helped me in my fade, and so I slipped through their nets. They don't bother me anymore.