by ILoveTTATT 36 Replies latest jw friends
Why lie about it? Why be weak about it? If you don't believe in it then what on earth are you doing there in the first place?
All these lis and manipulations and decptions people are advising you to do here are just plain dishonest and slippery.
There is no honour in that. It's cowardly.
Be real. Just walk.
This man is your enemy. He (and the cult he represents) can destroy your family.
The fifth is the best defence against this. They can't disfellowship you and in the process break up your family for not talking. Jesus Himself used this defence.
Text him: "I've thought about it and have changed my mind about meeting with you. " If he calls or texts you back, say you are not interested in meeting, don't feel the need or desire to meet etc. but if you change your mind, you will let him know.
Silence is golden in the presence of your enemies.
I sort of don't know why, but my fade has been the exact opposite. In the whole time I've had no visit from elders, and only 2 people could be bothered to come around and see me. To be honest I don't know if I'm insulted or happy.
Ditto. We've received one impromtu call at our home from two elders while they were in service. Easier to drive by here than make cold calls on HBHs. Not sure if we should be saddened by their lack of concern. At least there has been nothing confrontational.
If you text them, I would simply say that unexpected circumstances force you to cancel the meet-up and you will reschedule with him later. Don't give him anything too negative to set off "alarms" if you want to really fade. Do anything that sets off their alarms and they may start stalking you. JMHO.
Doc
Just say "it's not convenient right now". You don't have to give an explanation, just repeat it until they get embarrassed pressing the issue.
"I'm sorry, that wouldn't be convenient for me, can you email me instead?" whatever they say. They won't want to email / put anything in writing.
i agree, give them nothing. You owe them nothing, but they WILL take everything from you!
You may not thinkit possible, but they do have one goal: To see if you are apostate, and if you ARE? Take you down.
That's it... Take you down. Two witnesses, and hasta la vista.
Already, they have put you in a tight spot, pushed you beyond where you wanted to be. You are explaining things to your dad, perhaps before he was ready... maybe before you were ready? Maybe you couldn't be relaxed, and had to be on the defense?
My mother can only repeat mantras "You haven't been to meetings in two years, you left Jehovah's organization." Even tho bad things have happened to me, she won't listen to me, others have gotten to her first... Those talks at the DC did their jobs... "Do you look for excuses to talk to family members who don't associate?"
I really would follow the advice of so many others and TEXT: "Can't make it today" ...
No explanation (so they can't use your "written text" against you) & can't assign motives. Then, like all the others have said, "just don't reply."
I hope it works out well for you, losing family is very, very hard. (You don't think it will happen, but it does, it has... They "know you are a good person, loving, truthful," right? )
Just text.... then drive.... drive on with your life
:-)
cha ching
Yesterday we met up with an old ex witness friend after four years. It was great to drop all the barriers that have stopped us all meeting recently. Apparently, it turns out that I was marked as an apostate some time ago. The announcement was something along the lines of "brother ....... is marked. Choose to associate with him at your own risk!! I think they left it a bit open because I had so many witnesses relying on me for work. I was quite disappointed that I wasnt considered more dangerous!! Lol. I am still not disfellowshipped and haven't sent a letter in. I won't go to a JC if asked, or dissasociate myself, as I refuse to recognise the congregations authority. Although sometimes I think I would quite enjoy the challenge of a JC!!!
Sorry meant my last post as a new topic. Oops!!!
My last "shepherding visit" was in a coffee shop. This was my request since I wanted privacy from the flapping ears of my family. That elder was good with it . We had a one to one (establish that first) I got him to agree that I could say whatever was on my mind without any come-back on me.
The discussion was good. I told him frankly where I stood . He said we would do it again but never did. I guess he gave me up as a hopeless case.
This is NOT a "shepherding call", it is an investigatory committee, before a JC. I think that he is coming alone, although I haven't really established that. I think he's playing the "good cop" role. Just him, nice enough brother.
One hour before the supposed meeting I will tell him I won't be able to make it. Gotta check what movies are good today!
