Today my mom called me THREE times at work to tell me how "worried" she was about my spirituality.
I SO wanted to tell her some TTATT but just said, "Mom, I am fine spiritually. If I am ever in trouble spiritually, I will tell you. Meanwhile, I would REALLY appreciate it if you left my relationship with God a private matter."
Part of her concerns are that I come late (duh, avoiding the eldars)... that I seem to be so isolated (I haven't hung out with a single JW friend in months, possibly a year or more?), that I seem so sad (again, duh... I KNOW that my mom is mind-controlled by a cult and can't do much about it...)
I talked it over with my dad... he asked me to somehow keep it going for longer... delay the inevitable.
I think that I will go to the meeting this week (the one where I won't get into much trouble)... haven't been to the KH in months... I hate every second that I am there, I am extremely anxious and want to puke and scream out to people... But I have to do it, or else people will say, "but we haven't seen him!" (Remember, I PRETEND I go to the meetings. Instead I go to a coffee shop and do exJW related projects, or go watch a movie, or just have fun)...
I am betting that today after the meeting she'll want to talk to me... when she gets an idea in her head, it's really hard to calm her down.
I HATE having her tell me to "be careful, Satan's gonna get ya! Temptations are out there blah blah blah... We are so close to the end, you will lose your eternal life"!! And me KNOWING that it's all bullshit, that those ASSHOLES in NY have been keeping her and millions of other people in needless fear and anxiety...
I am so glad I realized that this is the only life.... USE IT PEOPLE!! ENJOY IT!!
sorry just needed to rant...