Ok... so Mom did the robotic JW thing and people in my home country know about me...

by ILoveTTATT 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  ILoveTTATT

  So...

  I went out all day today... just wanted to get away from the sh!tstorm that was created yesterday. Anyways... I come home like an hour ago, and my dad told me that mom called my aunties in Central America and told them stuff about me, and also she told the elders of her hall... The elders want to meet with me, but I think that it will be at my house. I am curious about your ideas about:

  1. What should I say to the elders? If things are in my house, with my parents as witnesses, things could be good....

  2. Should I tell my other cousins and people I love TTATT before they hear that I am an "apostate" and lose the one chance I have? What should I tell them? I am sooo willing to send mass e-mails.

  ILTTATT
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  skeeter1

  Breathe? Right now, concentrate on staying calm through all of this. Your family is going hysterical. That's to be expected. They believe in all of this, and all of a sudden (to them) you don't. So, this is like her heart has been torn out. Many women talk to relieve stress. They are communcators, and this is big news to her and she needs help processing the information, verifying her correct JW position, etc. So, she's going to reach out to other JWs, who are going to say encouraging things to her. Let her go through this emotional time. She may calm down in a few days or weeks. Until she's calm, you can't even begin to reason with her. Some JWs, you can never reason on JW things.

  Right now, you need to process things with her. Block the elders out of your life at this time. Tell the elders that you are having mental health anguish right now. The elders will likely relay this to your mom, which will give her something more tangible to worry about. And, an excuse to get back on the phone with all those relatives for a plausible, save-face excuse for your behavior. After all, she probably knows more than a few JWs with mental health anguish.

  Don't do mass e-mails. Emails are terrible at relaying most of your communcation methods. Tone is lost in an e-mail. Your voice is lost in an e-mail. And, the ability to see/respond with what others think.

  Skeeter
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  EndofMysteries

  First, do you want to be dfed or not?

  It sounds like you just want to finalize everything.

  If you did go the email route, I'd say tell everyone you (if you haven't gone athiest route and still believe in God, etc) that you still do and you have discovered things that bother your conscience with jws. You can insert things like the lies on the website about not shunning those who leave, the deceptiveness of making it appear it's all bible based when everybody really does follow without question the GB, how you feel following the GB who say they aren't inspired feels like idolatry, whatever it was that got you out.

  I'd also say you are fine not talking about anything bible related and still being just family.

  When you meet w/ the elders, if you do, (I've met w/ them and told them everything and I am still not dfed), if you want to possibly be just considered inactive, then you'd have to show that you aren't spreading things. You can say you kept it all to yourself and only told parents. You can bring up the true submission to God brochure, showing how it's preached to others to examine their religion and beliefs, and according to the bible, it was hurting your conscience that you judge them to die at armageddon if they don't, yet you've never done it yourself.

  Tell them you want to serve God, etc, you really need to know the scriptures and WT's, etc, and have on hand the 'public only' articles and materials for your side. For example the nobody should be made to chose between family and their beliefs, or the twisting/lies in the FAQ on jw.org, etc. The things they put in print that they don't practice, if confronted, they will have to either admit they are deceptive lies, or that it's true then they'll have to be lenient, very lenient with you.

  In their own conscience they can't admit the WT lies, is deceptive, etc, so you can use their misleading and lies in print for your own advantage.

  Anyway, I don't know what you know, what you want to do, etc, so too many variable for me to advise fully, but that's a little idea of the route I've gone for the time being.
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  whathappened

  Wow! Shi@storm is a good description of the situation. You know what the rules are. You can play along by their rules or simply not acknowledge that they have any authority over you.

  I would never agree to meet with the elders norwould I write a letter of disassociation. The elders are simply mid level cult leaders and do not deserve the courtesy of a reply to any questions.

  You have some tough decisions ahead.

  Best to you and your family.
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  EndofMysteries

  O BTW, when I first started to talk w/ them long ago, they immediately asked, almost the first word out of their mouth....do you still believe in the FDS. I then took control of the conversation and asked them the questions, which halted their initial plans for me to just say I don't believe in them, then they stamp a df for apostate, etc.

  They know I don't, and I've told them, but they couldn't df me because of how i went about it.

  If they ask you that question, then appear very confused, and ask for a clarification of who they are and what they are, because with all the changes and everything you are very confused. And of late there is no appointment over all the belongings so that can add another question but if they ask you, you can say something like this......

  Do I believe in them? Well actually I need to ask you, because I am very confused, what exactly is the official belief supposed to be about them right now and how are we to take what they say? I am sincerely truly confused, I looked up literature and everything contradicts eachother.

  Are they inspired or not? Because some things say they are not inspired at all, and some say they are the only channel of truth or God's channel? If they are not inspired, how can they be the channel of truth? And if they are not inspired, are we supposed to take what they say above what our conscience may feel in the bible? I ask that because with so many changes and such, should we take what they say as advice but if it conflicts with what we read in the bible, take the bible first?

  And also we preach to others we don't follow men but only teh bible and Jesus. So if what they are telling me to do I feel is against the bible, and if they aren't inspired, isn't that following men?

  Asking questions like that instead of answering their question, their brains will melt. Because even for them they've seen all the flipflops and different explanations, they may realize they don't even know what believing in the FDS is.

  You can also ask, "What do you mean by believe in them?" quote the scripture about not putting trust in earthling man but only God.
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  fahrvegnugen

  Just forget the idea that you are going to tell them TTATT. It is a waste of time and will go over like a lead balloon. My advice is to hold your tongue unless they ask you. When I left I tried to convince my brothers and a friend. All we did was argue. Eventually my brothers came around all on their own, but it took a few years. I won't even go there with my mom. A person has to open themselves up to the idea first. Until then just try and maintain the lines of communication. Also, I agree about not meeting with the elders. I would be polite, thank them for their interest, but decline to participate in any organizational BS.
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  ILoveTTATT

  @skeeter:

  Great advice... but I really want to tell my cousins and my best friends, the ones who I think will have the best chance of listening to me, the ones who are really hurting because of WT policies. My family will go ballistic! I have around 30 cousins, aunties, etc on my mom's side who will be absolutely shocked...

  She seems very calm about things... no shunning, no nothing.

  I think blocking out the elders is a great idea, but it will be very hard. I am living in their house, so I can't tell the elders off... If they come, I can't ask them to leave... I can at most just tell my parents to tell them that I don't want to meet... but my mom will force the issue and will force me to meet with them... that or I leave the house... which won't be good.

  Dad vaccilates between knowing I am right and wanting to please my mom still... It's been tough on him.

  She's the type that reasoning is not really possible, except for microseconds.

  About the e-mails: Are you saying I should call them over the phone? I guess that is a good idea...
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  Black Sheep

  She recruited you into the church.

  She talked you into getting baptised.

  She didn't warn you about all the prophetic failures by it's leaders etc. etc. etc., you know what to bring up here.

  Now, you've got questions that you want her to answer. Not her church leaders ... HER. If she doesn't know the answers, you'll wait while she gets them for you. If she doesn't want to get them for you, you want to know why not, from HER.

  Tell her to call the dogs off because you are not going to be bullied into pretending to believe this load of cobblers by her church leaders. Ask her if she wants you to be dishonest and pretend you believe what you know is BS just so that she can have a kid that hasn't been thrown out of her failed doomsday church.
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  ILoveTTATT

  I have been told that since my cards are in a different city, that neither the elders in either my parent's hall nor the ones in the Spanish hall in my city can do anything about me.... can't DF me. Is that true?

  @Endofmysteries:

  I would LOVE to be able to just post on my FB all sorts of apostate stuff and have my JW friends choose the friendship or me... If there's any time to test a friendship it is now. Over time, the only friends will be true ones.

  I would love to open up and not be anonymous. I know so many things, I want to be involved in stopping as many people as possible to get into the cult... I am translating JWfacts, I am translating so much apostate material...

  I would love to have as many friends as possible wake up... if being anonymous helps that, great! If I have to go public or pre-emptively tell them ttatt before they can't talk to me because I am DF'd... I will be anonymous...

  But my mom will follow all the JW rules...
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  Black Sheep

  Telling JWs TTATT just IDs you as The Enemy, so don't expect a stampede for the KH door when you tell your cuzzies.

  You can get away with asking questions, but expressing opinions that they don't want to hear just results in them blocking you out. Ask enough of the right questions and they might just work out TTATT for themselves.