What are the feelings/thoughts within 24-48 hours of exposure to an undeniably true (for you) TATT?

by NeverKnew 39 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  NeverKnew

  Many of us know where we were during 9/11 or when John Kennedy and Martin Luther King were killed.

  It seems that when faced with TTATT, real truth is dismissed as "ol' light" or "an imperfect group of men" but from what I gather, many of you, at some point, were hit with a component of TTATT that shattered all of those cliches that allowed you to brush off the obvious reality that something was very wrong.

  Some of you may remember the hours following your earliest exposures to an undeniably true TATT. What were they like? Did you zone completely out? Were you happy? Did you feel peace? Were you afraid? Did you experience the "floating" feeling that Hassan talks about? ...or does that come later.
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  breakfast of champions

  Interesting question. . . . Yes, it was kind of a "floating" feeling, unreal, a kind of dissociation.

  When it dawned on me that it was all BS the world almost seemed to literally tilt upside-down. It actually physically felt like "something happened". . . . not scary, just weird.
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  Bob_NC

  Similar here. At first it was a quiet uneasy feeling of "what if, just what if it's all make believe" and wondering if I could handle the truth.

  Then the feeling changed to "what other lies have I believed. I have to know!!!!"

  And then OMG! OMG!, how do I get out of this.
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  Witness My Fury

  Lots of swearing, emotional buzz probably just adrenalin, then a period of near obsession with it. Feelings can swing to anger and back to happyness several times before settling down. I remember the good feeling that came with the sheer mental freedom to actually question everything in my own mind and allowing myself to say out loud to myself thoughts and words forbidden by the cult. Simply vocalising the phrase "it's a f@cking cult" for the 1st time was cathartic.

  607 was the killer blow for me, I'd seen plenty of fluff (from my viewpoint at that time) as to what was wrong with the WTBTS etc and nothing really clicked until I got down to solid proof that a foundational doctrine was utter bollocks.
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  SloppyJoe

  I was raised in and started questioning things before I had the internet. I didn't do anything until I had the internet and found it exciting to learn all of this. I didn't realize how much grief I would cause people by talking about it though.
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  Dis-Member

  Nervousness.. shock.. bewilderment.. feeling betrayed, confusion, disturbance.. anger.. vehemence... disgust.. disillusionment.. more anger.. feeling lost..

  uncertain, guilt.. anger again.. indifference.. calm.. frightening sense of new freedom.. new feeling of control.. liberty.. peace.. Detachment.. acceptance..

  Relaxation. Release.

  A growing Zenlike serenity and a willingness to let it all go, that it's ok to be uncertain and no longer have a need to control everything and just it 'be'.

  Grateful.
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  DesirousOfChange

  My personal situaiton was more like BOB_NC above, it was a very slow and gradual realization. Perhaps I DID NOT WANT to know in the beginning because I was certainly able to suppress a lot of those feelings (cognitive dissonance?) Perhaps it was some kind of denial? But it had to have been planted in there, just so deep that it took a long time to grow and surface. Finally though I eventually hit the "what else is BS" phase. Now, I don't know if any of it is true.

  But does it matter if any of it is true when some of is lies? Remember the illustration of the glass of water with a little sewage or poison? How much sewage is OK to drink? At what point is there too much sewage (or poison) to drink? If a little bit of BS is OK, then Christendom gets a free pass too, right?

  Doc
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  Londo111

  How do you spell relief? TTATT!

  Of course, it took my many months to confirm it rather than 48 hours.
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  NeverKnew

  A friend of mine sounded completely disoriented yesterday and said they had been up until the wee hours of the morning looking over a question I had asked. This is a born-in who has been trying to show me that the WTS an honorable institution. I asked if they were okay.

  "I feel... kinda ....out of sync. Just ...nevermind."

  Years ago, I would have pushed for a more complete answer. I decided to leave it alone.

  Given my background and seeing what it means to be a JW, TTATT would be a miracle sent from God if it were given to me. It seems that many of you liken the experience to being ripped from a much needed morphine drip.

  WMF, by your screenname, I suspect you're a firecracker in real life. You and I would be hurling obscenities together. I suspect the slow seep experience of some of the others would be in line for the personality of this person; if the dissonance doesn't take over again...
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  A.proclaimer

  When I learned TTATT, I just want to keep reading more, learning more, and investigating to prove to myself what was said was true. It made me realize there was another side of the story I didn't know about because it was demonized and I began to think how I was raised by family to believe in this for my whole life. It's kind of like a loss of identity, I couldn't believe all that was hidden and kept from the people. (and I'm one of the younger members on this forum). TTATT kept going on in my head throughout the day. It also affected my dreams that's for sure, I had watchtower and JWs in my dream for some days after that.