Question from an outsider regarding beliefs and views on women

DarkRose123

Hi everyone,

I am a not a Jehovah Witness but I have just gotten out of a relationship with a devout one. I mean no offense to this post but am simply curious and would like some help in understanding.

My ex claimed to be a devout Jehovah Witness. He studied the bible for 10 years. He also full heartidly claims that he is the son of God. He also suffers from schizophrenia, which I believe attributes to his behaviours and beliefs.

He was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive towards me.

He believed that all women are "sluts", all women are only %75 complete, all women are in league with the devil, women should be submissive etc.

If I didn't memorize scriptures from the bible after reading them then I was in trouble. I wasn't allowed to speak or do anything without permission etc.

The reason why I have deciced to post on here is because every abusive action he did was justified by his religion.

I suffered a lot from being with him, both physically and emotionally.

He has told me that he is a minister sometimes at one of the local Kingdom Halls.

I want to believe that it wasn't because of religion that he was this way, and I would like some insight.

Please any help would be appreciated :-)

new hope and happiness

Well i think from what you wrote, blamming the religion for your exs behaviour, would be wrong.

DJS

DarkRose,

I'm very sorry for the abuse you experienced at this man's hands. I am a man and was a JW for many years. I treated my wife at the time with great dignity and respect, and all of my JW male friends at the time, with very few exceptions, seemed to treat their wives with similar consideration and respect. I was also an elder, and examples of such treatment were rare in my congregations. I am sure they existed, but based on my knowledge and experience JW males/husbands treated women/wives with respect and tenderness. Again, I am sorry for your treatment.

sir82

Most JW men are not that extreme.

However, it is not surprising that if someone is a schizophrenic misogynist to begin with, and then later becomes a JW, the religion would very much feed into and exacerbate his condition.

LongHairGal

DarkRose123:

I am sorry to hear of the abuse you suffered at the hands of somebody with such extremist and wrong views towards women.

I am a woman who walked away from the JW religion for several reason, with the unacceptable attitudes towards women right at the top of the list. I let it go in one ear and out the other. However, what you describe is beyond anything I ever heard. If any men felt this way, they kept it to themselves.

Even though most JW men had "normal" views towards women, there might have been a few that had issues. My attitude was: that's their problem..

How any man views women, whether this man be from the JW religion OR elsewhere, is not my burden.

cantleave

Sounds like your Ex is just an ass.

Band on the Run

My father shared most of your ex's characteristics. To be fair, the WT does not teach this extreme. It was his pathology. The WT religion gave him plenty of reinforcement for his beliefs that women were inferior and a blight to humankind. He was at Bethel during Rutherford's tenure. Rutherford was notorious for hating women. His best friend at Bethel married my aunt. They had a lovely marriage. WT lit can be used by women haters. Roman Catholic theology can also be used.

I don't feel that the men on this forum share the belief. Russell had major marital problems. Rutherford had seedy affairs. My mom pulled me aside when I was preschool and told me that women were good. She had a list of female Bible heroines and quotes from Paul that countered the garbage I heard from my father.

The inequality between men and women within the WT has always upset me. There are practical consequences to such teachings, such as broken bones and bruises. Women raised in subjugation to men tend to accept abuse.

Let me state that the teachings were not helpful to my cause. I don't know why any women accepts the teaching for half a second. There are plenty of Bible scriptures that bolster a good view of women.

pixel

Sounds like your Ex is just an ass.

This.

LisaRose

I think his behavior is probably a result of his mental illness and his beliefs. The Watchtower does not officially say women are sluts and they do not condone abuse, of course, but they do believe women should be submissive. It is not a religion that values women, they have no role in the religion other than knocking on doors, so abuse is not uncommon, unfortunately.

I am not sure why you are still with someone who seems so troubled, I would leave if it were me. . You could contact the elders, but they have no real understanding of mental health issues, they would probably just make it worse.

SAHS

To “DarkRose123”: Firstly, welcome to the Board! As you can see, there is much information on here which illuminates and explains the general problem of arbitrary sexism imposed by the Watchtower leadership. Although, your specific experience is quite relatively unique in that it involves a most serious form of mental illness. Nevertheless, as “sir82” pointed out above, the Jehovah’s Witness religion certainly does exacerbate the problem of male chauvinism based on a draconian interpretation of a twitty Pharisee’s fundamentalist views on Christianity (that Apostle Paul guy).

Secondly, given the serious and dangerous situation of having just left a relationship with someone who is a violent and abusive schizophrenic AND a devout Jehovah’s Witness, I would say don’t hesitate to seek a restraining order on this person if you feel in any way that your personal safety is threatened. Better safe than sorry with someone like that. (Schizophrenics aren’t exactly known for having the best judgment.)

I wish you all the best in being able to move on to something better. (Pretty much anything else would have to be better than that.)

Question from an outsider regarding beliefs and views on women

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