How many in the cong visited you when you started fading

joe134cd

I'm just curious speaking from a person who has stopped going to meetings. I have heard reports from inactive ones (or from ones who the elders suspect of going to the dark side) of having so many visits from elders (cong members) that it got to the point of harassment. Surprisingly I have to say from personal experience and from numerous others that I have spoken to that the exact opposite has been the case

Below are a few examples:

This was a thread I posted on a couple days back. "I've been inactive for 6 years. I have relatives in the congregations territory where I live ( so they know where I live) and yet not so much as a whisper out of the dubbies."

From my personal experience since a stopped attending months ago I have only had 3 people physically visit me, and I would say out of those 3 cases only 1 of those came around to see me not with the motive of been able to count FS time on me. The other 2 that come around to see me were together out in FS. This stays in my mind because after I feed them, they had to quickly leave becasue she had meet some one who might of been interested in having a bible study. Why I remember this so clearly is because I thought of how back ward thinking they were, in that, what would of been more advantageous. Trying to encourage a person who spent most of his life believing a load of trash or having to leave the inactive person with the hope of encouraging someone else who probably won't be home or has forgotten about having a study. If it was a game of odds I know where my money would be. As far as even having been visited by elders or having repeated visits I have had 0. This I don't mind as I was kind of dreading having to talk to them but then on the other hand from the dubbie perspective you gotta wonder what is going on.

Another example is of a good friend of mine who I grew up with and purely by accident I meet on here. He was the the PO of his respective congregation, and when he started fading only 3 people bothered to contact him. His words also stay in my mind as well. "I don't really know what to make of this weather to be happy or insulted. I'm happy in the sense that I don't really want them coming around, but on the other hand insulted to think I busted my balls for that organization for a good part of my life, and at the end of the day I meant that much to them that only 3 people could be bothered to see how I was."

i have also heard of sick ones in the cong who no body bothered to see how they were, or ones who houses were skipped in territory because of the time it would take up.

I will admit these examples ( and this is from a dubbie perspective) I thought would be in the minority, but I'm beginning to think they could perhaps be the norm. So I'm just curious to hear fading stories of weather you just dropped off the face of the earth with no one noticing (which is a good thing) or weather it got to the point of harassment.

JWdaughter

No one ever visited me except to sell me Melaluca (aunt and uncle). They are both out now(well, he died, she left after the divorce)

DesirousOfChange

About the same story here.

There were two Congs sharing the KHall, and we had attended both.

3 pubs from the Cong we attended the longest stopped by for lengthy visits (1 was a former elder also disgusted by the goings on)

1 other pub has invited us to a restaurant on 2 diff occasions

1 visit by 2 elders from the other Cong during field service in our neighborhood (5 min) inviting us to the convention

That's it.

Yeah it kinda hurts when you come to realize that none of those "dear friends"....."dear brothers who would give their life for you".....really gives a sh*t.

Doc

Found Sheep

The only ones that called, said hi in anyway were fellow faders.

I must say it hurt at first. I pioneered for 13 years and I was one of the odd ones that did reach out to others. I never did the come back speach, it was I care can I do anything. I did do the you can sit next to me and I'll keep the mean people away....

joe134cd

I was just thinking. I was driving past the Hall a couple Saturdays back and seeing all the cars in the car park meeting for F'S. I thought it ironic how these people are prepared to spend countless hours aimlessly handing out magazines, and yet those very same people wouldn't even know where a member dying of cancer lived.

steve2

Yes, joe I think many faders brace themselves for all manner of visits from "concerned" brothers and sisters - and when it doesn't happen, it can be equal parts a relief and perplexing. Yet, I do think that it is probably commoner for Witnesses to back off when other Witnesses fade. In my opinion, here's why:

I take as a starting point that most Witnesses see their religious obligations as "chores' they'd rather not do. Besides, people can only give what they've got - and if the general state of the organization is trending towards the lukewarm side of things, what would they share with you if they did visit? The same old same old that they themselves no longer feel much zeal for? Elders are run off their feet at the best of times, with wives who moan about never seeing their men because they're too busy with kingdom work.

Most Witnesses would be lucky to count on the fingers of one hand true and meaningful friendships with other Witnesses. THat's why, for many who fade, the silence is deafening. You're probably more likely to be visited if you've got other family members in the organization - but that depends on whether they live nearby or the usual quality of your relationships.

losingit

Mythoughts? You've chosen to fade, why does it matter if they visit you or not. You're free bc you chose to be. Now be happy. Makes it easier to make a clean break. And best of all you can still visit famiy and if you'd like to, any jw friends.

Imagine how hard it is when youve been df'd (forwhatever reason) and no longer have the support or love from friends. i have no jw family (thank God) but i literally lo st ALL of my jw friends. You see, i was a good jdub and had no worldly association. I am going through a tremendously difficult time and none of my friends are there for me anymore. They are gone.

Count your blessings.Sounds like you got out of the damn cult unscathed.

Oubliette

It's been 1/2 a year. I'm still waiting ... (not really, but you know what I mean).

I did get a couple of half-hearted calls from a few of the elders.

Me: "Let me guess, the CO is visiting next week, right?"

Them: "That's right. How did you know?"

Gypsy Sam

Zero and quite relieved about it :)

smiddy

Zero , Zilch, None.

smiddy

How many in the cong visited you when you started fading

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