My PERSONAL Complaint concerning Jehovah's Witnesses

by fulltimestudent 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • fulltimestudent
    fulltimestudent

    I was not much more than 16 when I became interested in the JWs. I was an idealistic, unrealistic (read, romantic) kid, concerned at the suffering of so many people as a result of WW2 and its aftermath.

    I guess that made me an ideal target for the kingdom message. But strangely the person who told me about the witnesses wasn't one.

    Where I worked, we often had quite deep discussions during morning tea breaks, and a non-witness kept bringing up the ideas of the witnesses. Keeping this short, one day I went looking for them, found out where the meetings were and went to one and kept going (giving up my sunday sailing sessions). It was suggested that I study with another young witness in that congregation, so I did, riding my bike some 5 km to his house once a week. His family were certainly gold plated believers, but strong-minded enough to be (slightly) non-comformist. Mum always gave her kids birthday presents, and Dad would ridicule anything that seemed to him to be over the top. Maybe that's why he never had too many privileges in the congregation. But they certainly had good friends at the top, Teddy Jarascz, then the branch overseer, was a frequent visitor to their home.

    I progressed, impressed by the catechismal style of teaching and overwhelmed by the biblical explanation of the meaning of world distress.

    Armageddon, was only 5 years away in the opinion of my alternative family. My real father nearly pissed himself laughing when I told him he should study with the witnesses because the big A was so close. In the end, my Dad had the last laugh, too. But, I started to think I would never grow old, because the end would come and the end of all troubles on the earth.

    It took me a few years to decide to be baptised. I was certainly no Ethiopian eunuch, asking for immediate baptism! Looking back I'm not sure why. I wanted to 'prove all things.' But lacked the ability to critique what i was learning. But, in the end I was baptised and started on a theocratic career that never quite reached the heights.

    Along the way, some things niggled, but I suppressed them with firm faith that Jehovah would correct them in his time (and, yes! sometimes it did work out like that). Sometimes, reading the experiences of others, I think that Australia must exist in a parallel universe. Silly things sometimes occurred, sometimes vicious things - but seldom real injustice. So what me start to think?

    Maybe one incident was part of that process. Post 1975, the WTS sent Doug Held, a former branch overseer for Australia out here in (I think) 1976 to tell us that Armageddon could really be as far as 20 years away. Really? By that time I could be 70+, and maybe dead - so where did that leave the slogan of the 1930's that, "millions now living would never die?"

    I also had a great deal of financial pressure ( the result of years of full-time service) and then was involved in a bad car accident, in which I could've been killed. I duly thanked Jehovah, but wondered how my family would've fared if I had died. I resolved to try and make sure that they could be provided for - seeing that as my responsibility.

    So maybe it was an accummulation of many little things, that made me ask again, "Is this really the truth?" Slowly, slowly I decided No! I wont recount that time, suffice to say I was disfellowshipped, and could (eventually) rejoice, that my decision was made easier for me by their action.

    But, it was a difficult time, personally. Like so many others have experienced, it meant the loss of my close family. Fortunately, I had immediate family who were not witnesses. (I'd persuaded my sister my sister to study, which she did for years, but never became a witness) - I asked her, one day, why she never became a witness, "Listen," she told me, "All my life, I've had people telling me what to do. And I realised, that if I became a JW, I'd have a whole bloody congregation telling me what to do." (Smile).

    So what's all that got to do with the theme of this thread?

    Simply this: That a person cannot leave the witnesses with any dignity. They will not accept a person saying;

    "Look guys, I joined up with you when I was only a dumb kid … I thought you had the truth then, now I know better! So let’s just call it quits, I do not mind you saying that I’m no longer a witness. In fact, I’ll write you a nice dignified announcement so that you can read it out, but do we really have to go through all this shunning business? I know it’s in the Bible, but it’s going to cause all sorts of problems and unhappiness. So let’s just read the announcement, eh?”

    But no, that’s not good enough for these guys – they’ve got to drive you out and try to hurt you, when you stop believing that they have the truth.

  • NotNew
    NotNew

    But no, that’s not good enough for these guys – they’ve got to drive you out and try to hurt you, when you stop believing that they have the truth.

    • Good point! And this is in my opinion the real problem.
    • They go out of their way to harm you!
    • they are rabid dogs and need to be put down (symbolically that is):)

    SW

  • clarity
    clarity

    Great post but even this is an understatement ...

    they’ve got to drive you out and try to hurt you

    *

    They don't just try .... before you even walk out the door,

    all those so called friends have unfriended you! Your own

    children, that you produced with blood sweat & tears are

    compelled to leave you ........ pretty much forever!

    *

    Just ran into an old aquaintance .....she was df'd at 17 for

    minor stuff, got kicked out, married a lovely worldly man,

    had 4 beautiful children, .............30 yrs later she is still

    shunned by family. Her 'mother' has not talked to her all

    this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    clarity

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Shunning, the way the JWs practice it, is not really according to the bible. Even if it was, it wouldn't justify what they do, which is to damage and destroy families, and hurt individuals.

    They pretend that only unrepentant sinners will be disfellowshipped, but we all know that's not true. It depends who you are and what you did, there is a double standard for elders and their families. Then, if you simply want to leave, you are OK, unless you do any of a number of things that are only considered a sin by them, like celebrate holidays or take blood. So they are redefining the concept of sin to include things that are not included in the bible.

    And you could still get kicked out for not believing everything that is taught by the Governing Body. Where in the bible does it say to shun those who don't believe everything said by one imperfect human? First century Christians would have disagreements among themselves, but no one was shunned because of it.

  • NewYork44M
    NewYork44M

    great post and I learned a new word.

    nig•gled əl (v.i.) -gled, -gling.

    1. (n.) to spend too much time and effort on inconsequential details; trifle.

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    fulltimestudent said: but do we really have to go through all this shunning business?

    Once a person is in, cults use fear, manipulation, and guilt to keep them ensnared and enslaved. This is emotional blackmail. Shunning is a tactic, a huge threat of punishment, used by many cults/high-mind control groups in an effort to ensure members of the group continue to perform for the group and never leave.

    It is contradictory to the group's claims of being 'loving' or truly caring about their members.

    The Watchtower and Jehovah's Witnesses definitely use this tactic.

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    fulltimestudent, interesting experience thanks. Shunning is a very ancient primitive custom as we know. Personally, nowadays I think it's mostly about revenge. You caused us pain by questioning our beliefs and making us feel uncomfortable. We are going to make you suffer by not speaking to you for the rest of your life. You are dead to us, better dead that making our brains work and hurt.

  • WhoYourDaddy
    WhoYourDaddy

    batshit crazy people.

  • Ding
    Ding

    There can't be any honorable way of leaving "the truth."

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    FTS: Along the way, some things niggled, but I suppressed them with firm faith that Jehovah would correct them in his time

    FTS, great story!

    In many ways, it could be mine (minus the car accident).

    Your comment about surpressing doubts is very telling. It was exactly the same for me, as I suspect for many of us. But you believe that the Bible is "God's Word" and that these people "have the truth" so you let it go.

    The fact that there is no honorable, dignified way to leave the group is absolute proof of one thing: It's a cult!

    __

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