All disfellowshipped persons have a MORAL OBLIGATION to treat those remaining in "good standing" harshly.
Ive been thinking about it, and decided this is the correct behavour.
Be merciless with them!
No help. Ignore in the street. etc.
If they are going to do such things as leave "dear" off a letter, you have to respond in kind. Itys like raising children, they will not learn, unless you punish them for their behaviour.
They are breaking all accepted rules of behaviour, send them to the bedroom with no supper.
Responding to their contemptible treatment of you with loving kindness achieves nothing. They just want to cruise thru life doing exactly what they want, without consequences.
Like naughty children...you have to deprive them of privilages in order to "reeducate" them.
Ozzie,half joking/half serious here, actually brother I am filled with ANGER on your behalf.