When you distance youself from JW thinking you come to see life is not so black and white as you were taught to believe. People are people . Some people have good character traits ,and some don't ....it has nothing to do with what religion they belong to, or if they are religious at all.
There are some very nice people that are JW's ,but they are ultimately controlled by an organization that is expecting exclusive devotion . Many teenagers are trying to find their individuality at that age ,but it is so hard when the religion is constantly telling them to fit into a pre-determined mold .It becomes frustrating as they want to try out new things ....these teens are not 'bad' or 'good' they are just individuals trying to figure out life .
I spent 44 yrs as a Witness .After all that time I was told my Witness 'friends' were my 'true ' friends ...this was a lie . Most of those people were only my friend so long as I believed exactly as they did ,and did exactly as they did .That is called conditional friendship and is not authentic. I began to realize this about two years before i actually faded from the congregation .
I now have made friends with many non-witness people ,and have found we can have differing religious ,political,ect.views ,and still be great friends . Diversity is awesome and interesting .
Here are a couple of examples I can share that happened to me personally :
My Mother ,was a Witness for over 50 yrs ,had heart surgery and then suffered a major stroke that left her in a coma and hospitalized for three months . During that time my JW sister in law came to the hospital one time during the actual surgery . In fact none of my so called JW "friends" came to support me emotionally during that whole time . Yet at work my non Witness workmates gave me hugs ,asked to pray for my Mom ,and showed they cared . When my Mom came out of the coma I asked a JW friend if she would come by and see her ,because she was asking about her ...this witness told me she was aux. pioneering that month and had not made her time yet .She was very put off that I would even ask her ! That was a pivotal moment for me . Another awakening moment for me was that my Dissassociated Brother was so loving ,and such a support during this time ,yet I had been told for years to limit contact with him because he was now a 'Worldly" individual .
Compare that with my experience a few yrs later when I had been faded for a couple of years ,and i had to have surgery myself . My new friends knew I was scared ,and without even asking they came to the hospital for support . One friend even slept next to my hospital bed all night just to make sure I was out of danger ! (This one kindness has made the biggest impression on me in my whole life .) When I got home these new friends that i have known less than three yrs were bringing over meals ,cleaning my home ,and genuinely just showing concern for my well-being . I did not have to ask for this support ,they just knew from the heart what was needed and followed through .
So in my experience 'worldly' friends have been my true friends in the long run . Of course as I stated in the beginning it is the character of the person that matters ,surround yourself with genuine caring .loving ,honest hearted people ,and you can't go wrong .
