Combatting Agoraphobia in NONJWland

Jon Preston

My daughter starts school soon. And i cant help but be afraid of the big bad world....the freedom we have is scary and im irrationally afraid of my kids getting in with the wrong crowd....in JWland it wasnt so bad becaus you felt safe. So now i know that safe haven is actually BS how do i get it out of my head? What were some of the things that eased your mind about the outside world and your family?

I know that i will keep close watch on my kids and their lives and keep them busy with meaningful things. Thats a start at least. And im peaking their interest in animals and science and the beauty of real life so they can thnk for themselves how to view the world. But i guess the sudden vast horizon before me and knowing there isnt just one little road it scares me. (Im such a pansy haha)

JP

love2Bworldly

It takes time to overcome that mindset. Being very involved in your kids and watching over them is smart, because it is a scary world. It's the same world whether or not a person is a JW, think of it that way.

Wish you luck!

LostGeneration

The wrong crowd in Kindergarten????

HA HA HA!

Have you been in an elementary school lately? Its the last bastion of innocence on earth today.

GrreatTeacher

Kindergarten will be lovely. Your daughter will meet all of her new classmates and then slowly find the ones she enjoys the most.

Birthday parties are a great way to meet the other children and their parents. In most schools invitations must be handed out to everyone in the class or none at all. It's a ver good policy that allows no one to be left out and everybody to meet everybody.

If your daughter is lucky enough to have a birthday in the beginning of the school year, then you get in on the very beginning of that process. You meet all of the kids early in the year so you can steer her away from some and make private playdates with the others that you approve of.

So, definitely have a birthday party and invite everyone. That's how you control her friends.

quellycatface

I always used to let me son attend birthday parties (even when I was still "in"). It's far too cruel letting them miss out and stand out at such a tender age. Let the little lassie have fun.

Jon Preston

I just have to put my foot down. Thats the way its going to be. If big bad J is gonna kill me because of THAT......it woukd demonstrate the cruel and petty attributes the WT God Has....i cant imagine a "God of love" being that way

Lied2NoMore

From one little girls daddy to another...here is the secret...spoil that kid and treat her like she is the center of the universe..never ever let her doubt your deep love..even when she misbehaves...keep her close.....the result?

She will be reluctant to ever do anything to disappoint you and when she gets interested in boys all of them will have to meet the standard that you have set for her on how she is treated and when she decides to get married as mine is very soon...you wont have to worry who your handing her off to.

I still am gonna miss my little buddy but she will be treated well..

Frazzled UBM

Jon Preston - you will need to overcome this phobia at some point because you need to let your little girl have some freedom to take risks and learn. Modern parents are already over-protective and if you maintain the JW paranoia about worldly people it will just make things worse. you have toi spend the yewars when you have influence instilling good sense, good judgement and self-confidence and then leave them to become you they will be.

GreatTeacher - you said: 'Birthday parties are a great way to meet the other children and their parents. In most schools invitations must be handed out to everyone in the class or none at all. It's a ver good policy that allows no one to be left out and everybody to meet everybody.' That has not been my experience in London - my son has received one party invitation in 3 years. For his party last year I invited all the boys in the class but only 5 turned up and almost no-one RSVPed. So this year I had no qualms about only inviting 5 kids to his party. I am not sure what the issue is - he is a bit ADHD but gets on okay with the other kids and my wife doesn't really mix with the other mums and I sent out the invitations and arranged the party without the involvement of my wife so the other parents probably think we are a bit weird. Any ideas on what I can do to help him with this situation? Thanks Fraz

LisaRose

The idea that being a JW somehow protected your children from the big bad world is an illusion. The JWs have the worst retention rate of any religion, their children were just as vulnerable as any other, if not more so. What will protect your children is keeping a good close relationship with them, being there for them as this big, scary world knocks them down a bit, and then trusting that you raised them right and gave them the tools to succeed in life. If you don't do those things it won't matter if you keep them locked up in the house 24/7. Your children will grow up and make their own mistakes and learn and grow just as you did.

KateWild

Jon,

Seems to me you have a bit of residual indoctrination going on there. Your logic is saying the world is full of life adventure and happiness, but your indoctrination is telling you "Worldly things" are from Satan and everything in the world should be feared.

Narurally bad things happen, and in this economic climate we are all having trials, that is what WT and other cults use, but you have put your best foot forward and you sre doing things with your kids. Enjoy, I wish I could. I am experiencing a situation of no contact with my 12 yr old, its heartbreaking, so enjoy them while you can.

Kate xx

Combatting Agoraphobia in NONJWland

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