My daughter leans towards the over-protective side, practically a helicopter parent. She's been planning my granddaughter's development from day one. When Naomi was litttle, my daughter took a trip down memory lane on how I raised her in an intimate religious community where the children grew up together, have lifelong friendships, and were mothered by dozens of mothers. There was no privacy, LOL! My daughter still gets that warm feeling when she attends reunions, weddings, and such. She wanted the same for Naomi, so she planned the day-care (attached to a school), elementary, and Junior High so that Naomi would be surrounded by the same friends and same community throughout her growing up.
We have a confident, happy girl as a result, with constant friends. But she IS thirteen. She is talking about going to an art school in New York, which nearly sent my daughter over the edge. My daughter pulled out her calculator to prove to Naomi how IMPRACTICAL it all was. I tried to convince my daughter it will all work out. Thirteen year olds are full of thoughts of independence. Let them dream a little.
I guess I say all that is that you can build a community and intimacy locally, and that when it is all said and done, children practically raise themselves.