If I DA this way......

Jon Preston

If i wrote a letter of DA to the congregation that only said i was DA'ing with absolute zero reason. how do you think theyd respond? Obviously an anouncement but im sure rumours would then start. But what else? The only one i care about who is in is my wife....wouldnt mind if everyone else left me alone lol.

ABibleStudent

Hi Jon Preston, Would your wife shun you for no longer being a JW? If she would, then that is what would happen if you DA.

DON"T PLAY BY THE WTBTS's RULES. It would be much better for you to quietly fade.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Jon Preston

The problem i have wth fading is it makes me live a lie...constantly hiding what i know and sneak around to do research and be on this forum...having to hold it all in and not be totally honest with everyone sucks....i feel like i am only making myself a self-fulfilling prophecy and losing my credibility should i need to argue or state my case...theyll pull the "have u been personally studying? Family worship? No service? Oh thats why youre doubting!!!" And my wife will be played right into their hands...at least thats what i fear.

ABibleStudent

Hi Jon Preston, Are your feelings to DA yourself inluenced by the WTBTS's indoctrination (i.e., phobias)?

If you need reasons to miss meetings/FS, talk with your wife about getting additional education/training to provide a more secure financial future for your family. It has been over 120 years since Charles Taze Russell first predicted the Big A happening in 1877.

Also, if you feel comfortable studying the Bible with your wife, help your wife to critically think for herself by showing how the Pharisees and Sadducees used BITE control techniques to victimize Jews and how Jesus Christ felt about it. Let your wife connect the dots between how the Pharisees and Sadducees behaved and the WTBTS victimizes JWs. If you don't know what BITE control is, please watch the following video: Strategic Interactive Approach explained 2003 (1:23:23).

If you do not like sneaking around, I would recommend either buying a smart phone/tablet and enjoying coffee/pastries at a coffee shop with free WiFi.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

mauiboy

Hi Jon....Just be honest with your wife.....tell her your doubts and concerns. Tell her why your quitting meetings and field service and all aspects of the cult that you have no intentions of supporting. Tell her you research independently because you need to see 2 sides and the edge of every coin. However be prepared. This is the approach I took, and lived thru hell for 2 1/2 years because my wife couldn't accept that I was done. My marriage is a sham right now.....we can't talk of anything meaningful, but the screaming has ended and she has accepted my expalnation that I am just another worldly guy. I do not force my thoughts on her, but if she starts to get self-righteous and preachy, I just remind her of the U.N. and that the Candace Conti case is still unsettled. She heard me shut down the elders re: the U.N. and I explained to her that the dubs were just Catholics as far as pedphilia was concerned. Be honest with her and fade.....don't burn your bridges.

All the best to you, Mauiboy

sarahsmile

You name it they will try their best in public to throw guilt! Just look away before they do!

If your wife celebrated your daughters bday maybe you should ask how she would feel. Include her.

I think she would like to include hers!

happy@last

Hi Jon, I get what you are saying and yes you do not have to give a reason. I DA'd as i had been a "high profile" JW and no longer wanted any dealings with them, no interaction at all, fading worked for a couple of years but then they still wanted to poke their noses into my business and it seems enjoyed spying from a distance.

rory-ks

What about this idea: Live your life as if you are not one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Don't disassociate yourself because that is something JWs do. JW rules say, "write a letter of disassociation," so we dutifully write a letter of disassociation. If, because of your actions, the organisation wants to assume you have disassociated yourself, let them think what they want to think. If they want to disfellowship you, let them disfellowship you in your absence. Let them carry on their charade without your cooperation because you are no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

If congregation members want to ignore you, shun you, whatever, that is up to them and it is on them. A love that is conditional is not a love that is worth having.

quellycatface

Hi Jon.I totally understand your feelings on "living a lie".That is why I da'd.I had to get a clean break.We are all different.you do what is right for you and your family.

I pray you make the best decision.

Phizzy

Well said Quelly dear.

I wonder, Jon, how long is it since you learned TTATT ? how far along the process of fading are you ?

For quite some time after I left I really ached to DA, just to have a clean break, but I have a lot of family still in, including a frail and failing old Mum, so I didn't want to rock the boat.

I am now glad I did not. The JW family have mellowed no end. I do agree with being honest with your wife, DO NOT be at all confrontational, there is no hurry, take things slowly, and only give her a bit of TTATT at a time, to mull over and consider.

You decide what is best, but again, no hurry, you can eventually D.A at any time in your life if you want to, perhaps you and your wife together some day ?

Good luck !

If I DA this way......

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