4 more days till I leave the Watchtower (page 3)

patricia

Hi Leander,
I am a new poster, but am very interested in your thoughts about leaving the organization. The one thing to keep in mind is that you are falling right in with the society's plans when you df or disassociate yourself. By taking this course of action you cut off all chance of talking to your family or friends about this organization and all of its inconsistencies. By branding yourself as an "apostate" the society happily closes all doors of communication to you. If you have close family or friends in the organization it can be very punishing for them as well. They may love you, but they have to remain "loyal" to the organizaton and most honestly believe that when they are "shunning" you they are really trying to save your eternal life. I would like to give you an example of what this can do to a person and their family. When I was a child there was a young baptized brother in our congregation that had an unbelieving, very strict father. When he was fifteen he hung around with some worldly boys after school. These boys as a practical joke decided to steal a gas can from a house. The brother actually didn't even know what was happening as he was sitting in the car. They got caught of course and the police were called. There were no charges laid but this brother was called for a meeting with the "committee" as it was called at that time. At fifteen years of age he was terrified of the "committee" and of his own unbelieving father. He didn't attend the meeting. He was subsequently disfellowshipped without a hearing. As a son of a large family with the majority of his siblings in the truth this led to unbelievable heartache for his family and him. During subsequent years he was exluded from all family functions including weddings, family reunions and even his own parents anniversary party. His children were ostrasized because if he couldn't go then of course they wouldn't be allowed to go either. As time went on and this now adult became a well respected member of his community known for his kindness and generosity to all, some members of his family tried to reopen a relationship with him. After doing so they were brought up before the elders and told they would be disciplined if they continued with this association. This has gone on for almost thirty years and caused a huge amount of pain and heartbreak for all but especially his Mother, as he was the youngest of a large family. The really sad part of all of this is that he isn't even on the society's records anymore, yet because of this being a very small community it will never go away. He never attended the Kingdom Hall after his disfellowshipping more out of fear than anything else, but as time went by that option didn't interest him anymore. I wonder why?
When you make this decision think of all the consequences. If you can keep the channels open to your family, you may be able to eventually, and quietly help them see the light.
I will tell you this. If I was a brother, I would be progessing as far as I could in the truth just to get my hands on as much information from the governing body and Bethel as I possibly could. I don't think we should be playing into the society's hands by letting them get rid of us and justifying it with their "apostate" excuse. I think if some can remain attached in some way either with the organization, or with friends and family we have a much better chance of infiltrating this organization and exposing their lies and deceit.
I would love to hear from you.

meat pie

My circumstances were very different, being the only JW in the family, but I merely told (not wrote) a few people, then any who asked, that I would not be going to the meetings 'at least for the time being'.I have not been DF'd though I have been much more outspoken lately. YOu could try that way to get some breathing space?

flower

Good for you Leander..4 days to freedom. It is not going to be fun at first but it will be worth it to get out of the cult and into reality.

Regarding your questions that you seem to insist on being able to answer for them (you wont be able trust me)..

What other religion or organization are doing the work of JWs?

who cares? who says a religion has to go around knocking on peoples doors telling them that the world is gonna end (again). is continually incorrectly predicting the end of the world and preaching about it supposed to be some kind of sign of a true religion?

What other religions teach the hope of an earthly kingdom and have also discarded false doctrines? (hellfire, trinity, immortal soul, etc.)

who cares what other religions teach about an earthly kingdom? whats that got to do with reality? do you really believe in the paradise fairytale still?

what other religions teach that its ok to cut off flesh and blood parents, children, grandchildren, and friends if they happen to believe something or not believe something different than you? what other religions teach that if someone who talks to someone that is no longer a member, has a child out of wedlock, cannot accept a doctrine or simply cant stop smoking is going to be destroyed by God at Armageddon? what other religion torments children by teaching them things that are not even found in the bible at all as facts and forcing them to try to live up to impossible standards(ie. masturbation is wicked)? what other religion forces kids to watch other kids play, have fun, make friends, have social activities while they sit alone and study their literature because of bad associations?

not many religions at all is the answer. just a lot of cults.

good luck with your exit Leander.

mouthy

Myself I would just fade-if I had the chance to.I would not write anything at all to Anyone- You might think it wont hurt you when they shun you-but then the gossip starts-& the family-even if they do decide to speak to you- there is a strange feeling among them .
Why dont you just drift- say nothing to noonejust that you want to examine more closely what you believe.
You will be marked- but at lest your family will see you ( might)
I miss my kids -( I am shunned) I am old now- but I would love to cuddle em before I die......

jwsons

Leander,
In my opinion, will you really count on the whole mess afterward? Your family can be broken because of your little letter. Do you really need to inform them about your decision ? for me, fade away is the better way. Just quit the meetings as if you're busy with job, family. If they ask you, just say you have to spend more hours for family. can you afford bitter, your wife, mum, dad and relative reap all the things you mess them up with your letter. Think again. You can escape from the WACOtower wall, that's the best thing in the world. Help yourself. Others may encourage you, but do they share the bitter after match with you?
jwsons

flower

I agree with the others btw, no letter no nothing. Just fade and become one of those 'weak in the faith'. Pop up at a couple of memorials for the next couple years and then not at all. At least you can still talk to your family. I did this for several years and yea you will be marked and looked at differently but my family still talked to me. Once you actually have a 'label' (da'd, df'd or whatever) you will give the borg a opening make them (your family) think that they are doing something wrong by talking to you. My sisters and mom were there for sometimes for me when i was a 'weak lost sheep' but now that i'm officially df'd they havent spoken to me in months. we havent seen my nephew in months and he was becoming my sons best friend :(

its a shame that it happens that way but its reality. unless you have some reason for your letter and official announcement i agree with the others that the fade is the best way to keep your family somewhat in tack.

flower

slipnslidemaster

I agree with Amazing's post 100%.

Slipnslidemaster:"Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the darkside."
-Emperor Palpatine

Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America

LyinEyes

I agree with fading , if at all possible because of your wife and family mainly. It will give them time for it all to sink in. This is
going to be very traumatic for them as well as yourself. You dont owe the brothers any explanations,, your letter simply states that you need to be releived of your duties and that will be a good first step. If they insist on an explanation, you can tell them you just
need some time to gets some personal issues in order...period. If they bring up any suspected apostacy , again, you can tell them you
just have things to work out, and like you said in the letter , really dont want to discuss it any further. My hubby, Wild Turkey and I , have been out for a year, not d/a or d/f ....yet,,,,it may happen but a year later I dont care. When I first left, it would have been very hard to be d/f , this way I am more sure of myself and my decision. Prepare for some confusing times, and you may even doubt your decision, but hang in there. Keep coming to the site and sharing how you feel, it has been the greatest tool for us in recovering. I can almost guarentee in a year or maybe sooner, you will be happier than you ever have in your whole life. We are!!!!
Best wishes on your new path!!!!

logan

I have just joined the board and wondered what your current situation was. Did you leave and if so what has been the result?

logan

But what about contact with the family. If you are DF then contact is a major issue as we all know the 'rules' on association with DF persons. But what about DA? Does this mean that you cannot be DF?

4 more days till I leave the Watchtower

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