Top Five Ways To Annoy WTS at Assembles

by metatron 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • FriendlyFellaAL
    FriendlyFellaAL

    LOL! Wish I had thought of that. It was usually just some pimply-faced ministerial servant who enjoyed abusing what little authority he had.

    Brian

  • Cassiline
    Cassiline

    Do you all remember those horrible hot sticky days when the air was stagnate and it felt as thought you could not breath?

    Trying not to sleep through whomever's talk was going on. Your eyes wander, and there it is the small bit of paradise in the entire stadium; The baptismal pool!!! Sometimes accompanied with a small fountain making it even more inviting, that begged "All ye come to me, drink of me, feel my cooling waters upon your skin"

    You leap from your seat to get closer to the pool that is pulling you with some unseen force, And say "Ahhhh Sh*t I'll get baptized just for the hell of it, (you have already been "baptized" at the last 5 district assemblies due to the heat.) LOL

    Daum how I wished some day's I could just jump into that pool!!!

    So there is a new annoyance, go to assembly with bathing suit, floating devices and friends in tow, and scream "Pool Party" and jump right in. <Disclaimer> Don't dive in as the pools are usually not that deep!!!

    C

    When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

  • Cassiline
    Cassiline

    I have a question? Did others districts sell all the flowers/plants at the end of the assembly, that were used to make the stage look nicer? They always did at VET stadium. Sorry not trying to hijack just remembered it.

    C

    When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.

  • FriendlyFellaAL
    FriendlyFellaAL

    That happened at our conventions, but I remember how everyone was so hush-hush about the prices as if they didn't want to be seen conducting business in the Lord's house.

    Brian

  • The Alchemist
    The Alchemist

    Try rumours JW's love rumours.
    1) Start by spreading he rumour that a really big annoucement is going to take place. It is so secret that even the big honchos running the assembly don't know!
    2) When the time is right tell them what it is... The ancient worthies are about to make there entrance!!
    3) Next say this advent is to proceeded by the none other seventh Laodicean messanger himself... Charles Taze Russell!!!
    4) Walk into the back of the assembly wearing a toga and sporting a white beard and say in a loud voice "WHERE IS MY PYRAMID?!!!"
    5) Walk slowly to the front and turn and point at the crowd and say "WHAT HAVE DONE WITH MY RELIGION?!!!"
    6) This part gets tricky as you will need an accomplice. Find some 50ish man who has a startling resemblance to WC Fields clothes and all.
    7) As this man enters from the right mount the platform and say; "IT IS YOU! JOE RUTHERFORD MY DRUNKEN SHYSTER LAWYER!!! HAVE YOU COME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO TORMENT ME AND STEAL MY RELIGION FROM ME FOR THE SECOND TIME?!!!"
    8) At this time have your accomplice rush the platform with a broken wiskey bottle screaming obscenties and saying "DOWN WITH YOU YOU PYRAMID LOVING, CROSS WEARING, MIRICLE WHEAT SELLING, CHILD MOLESTER!!!!"
    9) At this point fake blood everywhere.
    10) As you lay in a crumpled mass of white bed sheets and red dyed syrup your accomplice with broken beer bottle in one and a microphone in another says in a boozy voice; "THE CHILD MOLESTING COVERUPS STOP NOW!"
    11) Get some attendents to carry you out and drop you in the nearest alley.
    12) Come back as a nerd in an out of style suit with a pinched look on your face. Have Rutherford introduce as his seer Fred Franz.
    And then the fun begins!
    Dave

    8) At this point have your accomplice rush you with

  • razorMind
    razorMind

    Line up at the baptismal pool, towel in hand, with the other candidates...but wear a thong. Try to make sure you're viewed (from behind!) by as many onlookers as possible.

  • TR
    TR

    I love this crap!

    In conjunction with metatron's #1, AVERTISE, ADVERTISE, ADVERTISE this assembly as a porn or S&M conference.

    Alchemist has the right idea. The rumours gig is great. The ressurected "saints" is very cool.

    TR

    UADNA-WA
    Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America- Washington Division

  • D wiltshire
    D wiltshire

    Get an egg and poke a little hole in it(with a needle) about 2 weeks before the assembly and bring it with you and throw it against some thing to break it when no one is looking (stink).

    Join the Watchtower or you will die.
    Only Jehovah's Witnesses have the TRUTH all other religions EVIL and from the Devil.
    You must beleive the Watchtower or you're going to die a painful death forever, isn't that really GOOD NEWS?
  • obiefernandez
    obiefernandez

    I must plug my site -- http://www.apostatesincorporated.com

    Just wear some fine merchandise from my online store, such as the following shirt:

    That'll annoy them!!

  • Imbue
    Imbue

    Obed have you sold anything yet???

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "The only good elite are dead elite!!"-Naeblis
    (Ok! He borrowed it)

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