by metatron 32 Replies latest jw friends
Here are some ones I can think of. Sorry if I have repeated any that was already mentioned.
Get the odor of lets say some one who is speaking on the plat form. Then take a bunch of blood hounds and release them.
Release a bunch of pigions indoors. Or a bunch of cats. Or may be doing this all at the same time.
I almost forgot. Don't forget the skunks.
1.You could always pencil in "Dathan" or "Abirim" where it asks for your name!
2. Volunteer to work every shift in Food Service, then don't show up. Oh wait, the *arrangement* has been simplified. There is no more food unless you bring your own, dummy!
3. Fake a massive heart attack in the front row while the Keynote speaker is giving the talk. I'm sure Rekless would be glad to give you pointers. (PS when the ambulance arrives, refuse to be transported.. Repeat the same process again during the climactic last talk.)
4. Sing a TOTALLY different Kingdom song, and act LOST as all HELL in the songbook. Feign concern when others around you stare.
5. Every time someone walks past the aisle, make up a juicy bit of gossip. "That's the brother that had a vasectomy last week." Say such things out loud, to no one in general.
Lisa
Buy thoudands of magazines and place them on every seat to reserve them for your "extended" family.
God I hated that, getting there early to find every seat somehow had been taken. I swear those people must have gotten there at 2am.
C
When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.
How about go as an attendant and stand in the isle during session holding up your hand as if there are seats "Then say oops my bad"
Or dress as a very old woman and next to the literature table. break wind from a nice cabbage and brocolli soup then say "Huh sonny did you say something"
1. Eat corn chips/crunchies incessantly during all sessions...
2. Play back all the talks you just recorded and laugh hysterically during intermissions.
3. Pretend to fall asleep and snore loudly during sessions..or in some cases, just fall asleep and let your nasal cavity do the magic....
4. Fake spewing on the seat or in the row w/concealed bag of 2 cups water, multicolored spiral pasta, 1/4 can of mushroom soup....let it
sit all day...will be squishy and ick.
5. M80's in the toilet....
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Oh My Gawddddddd!!!! Ya'll are making me want to go to the District
Convention so bad. Maybe I will go and see some of you pranksters
there,,, I will be be the one sitting in the first row,, standing
screaming ,,, BULLSHIT BULLSHIT every few minutes. I will pretend to
have Tourette's Syndrome, and will apologize profusely at all the gasps. It will be our secret!!!!HEHEHE I hope to recognize some
of my apostate brothers and sisters, by their wonderful, brilliant
antics.
Obie,
I want an APOSTATE SLUT tee-shirt, but you only have them for women?
I have a question? Did others districts sell all the flowers/plants at the end of the assembly, that were used to make the stage look nicer?
When I last went a convention, they not only sold off the flowers from the stage, but sold the carpet on the stage as well. This was in Corvallis, Oregon.
Another thing that made me chuckle was when I saw them vacuuming the carpet during breaks and at the end of the day. For some reason, seeing the brother, or sister, pushing a "Red Devil" vacumm cleaner just made me chuckle.
But, if you really wish to annoy them, since the air is always so still, hot and stagnant, why not fill up on boiled eggs, radishes, beer, beans and any other gaseous confection the night before and all during the convention. When I do that, I get quite melodious. I would always blame it on Barking Cockroaches. Alas, some had really bad breath too!
If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?
Celtic here.
If anyone is up for causing serious disruption at conventions across the UK this year, feel welcome to get in touch, even if I have to go it alone, I'm intent on bringing chaos to at least one of their events, feel free to join in.
Wire snippers and giant banners are at the ready.
Any offers of assistance appreciated, if not, what the hell?
Celtic Mark
Have a sign that says "Please kiss my ass" to flash at them when they flash the "please return to seat" sign at you.
And, when they circle the servants around you, cry out "HELP! I'm being oppressed!!" and start mumbling something about seeing the violence inherent in the system....
Xander F
(Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Ohio order)A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
--George Santayana
