Could they walk any slower on the ministry(tm)?

by punkofnice 37 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  piztjw

  This just in!

  In a show of christian brotherly love the GB has decreed that all publishers must contribute $2.00 (US) per month per publisher to the WT&T$. This money will be lovingly provided to purchase giant bags of pre-popped popcorn for the use of publishers and pioneers while engaging in the field serve us. This arrangement will be of assistence in indicating the forward movement of these zealous kingdom proclaimers as they drop a kernal of popcorn every seven steps while shuffling along in the ever so important preaching work. Of course we understand the prophetic significance of SEVEN steps, seven meaning perfection. Brothers make sure to pick up an adequate supply of popcorn along with your magazines, books, and tracts after each meeting. Please be ASSured of our warm christian love.
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  punkofnice

  Piztjw LOL....shouldn't that be $7?
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  piztjw

  I suppose it could be $7.00. But evidently (see what I did there?) the number two according to the WT&T$ means:

  2 - Signifies solidly confirming a matter.

  So $2.00 solidly confirms the need for the R&F to finance efforts to make sure those out door knocking are actually moving. In another soon to be released announcement the GB in their infinte love and concern for the elders taking the lead, are going to instruct the publishers to kindly fall down, as there is getting to be a significant burden on the elders being able to tell which publishers are just moving slowly, and those who have died.

  Sorry for a slightly warped sense of humor y'all. But it keeps me sane.
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  punkofnice

  Pzt. Or $3 for emphasis?
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  piztjw

  @punk

  And then they could claim that one of those $3.00 was an overlapping dollar.
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  punkofnice

  Pzt. Good one.
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  redvip2000

  I recall not too long ago, walking by one of my windows and seeing JWs across the street on a Sunday morning, so i stopped and observed them. They were walking super slow and yapping away about something, then they stopped between houses and continued talking. While they were talking my neighbor, which was the next house they were heading to, left the house with his family and packed some stuff in the trunk of his car.

  The JWs continue to talk while my neighbor and his family packed his trunk, then got in their car and left, totally ignored by the JWs. Once the JWs finished talking, they slowly walked to the house and proceeded to ring the door as if they expected anybody to be home. They stayed at the door several minutes talking, then slowly walked to the next home.

  "urgent work" was never done so slow in the history of urgent work.
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  punkofnice

  Redvip. Yes. I recall going door knocking....I loathed it...just felt guilty if I didn't. Sad ay.