If you don't teach your children critical thinking ability and how to use it even when they don't want to, or are being manipulated into not using it by someone they respect (that includes you), then they will never be completely safe in unsupervised contact with any high control cult member, including the ones you haven't considered a risk yet.
Are my children in danger of being indoctrinated if I let them spend the night with their JW family?
by Butterflyleia85 31 Replies latest jw friends
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smiddy
If you dont want your kids brainwashed , dont put them in a situation where they will be subjected to it.
smiddy
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LisaRose
I think it depends on your mom and your children. If you mom has maintained contact, and hasn't gotten weird or irrational about you not being a dub, then I would allow limited contact (not every weekend). If you feel comfortable talking to your mom about it, tactfully, and ask that she not confuse them with her religious viewpoint, and she takes that OK and agrees not to, them try a few short visits and see how if goes. If your mom has a history of lying or hiding things, then no unsupervised visits.
It also depends on your children and how sensitive they are. I had a child who worried about being put in a concentration camp when she was six, because of the JW stories in the yearbook. She also got the crap scared out of her by the demonized smurf doll stories, so if I had it to do over, she would get no unsupervised visits with either grandma, but she was unusually sensitive, she also worried about becoming an amputee, getting older and having to pay taxes, and a bunch of other things. On the other hand, my son was oblivious to pressure from anyone, did his own thing and never bought into the religion despite my best efforts.
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villagegirl
The fact is you can live in "limbo" between two worlds, being shunned
and miserable OR you can have a happy life, and be shunned, its them
not you. You cannot make them happy unless they force you to violate
your own conscience. Its a CULT. So shed your tears and create a new life!!
You do not say if your children have any other source for questions they may have
about God or heaven or angels or things children sometimes think about.
If they have no religious information at all, except throught your JW relatives,
then you create a situation where they can become attracted because their is
nothing else available. I do not know you or your beliefs, but if you have left
the WT, can you think about finding a non-judgemental happy, low key, moderate
church to attend ? Something with lots of activities for kids, before they are exposed
to the WT Caleb and his friends videos and "activities" ?
Give them some spiritual guidance yourself. And becoming more connected
to community and other groups will help both you and them,
and Birthdays, make sure you do some really great Birthdays
and let them invite all their school friends.
And do up Christmas, with a tree and wrapped presents
and the whole holiday spirit. Easter is coming up,
and I know they are eyeing those chocolate Easter Bunnies, and
all the colorful eggs and candy. Do Easter !!
No Watchtower can compete with a really nice Easter Basket
full of wonderful stuff. Fight back with FUN.
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Black Sheep
Apologies to LisaRose, but her advice could cost you your relationship with your children forever.
I wish garybuss was still around to put you straight on that one. Best to learn from other people's mistakes than your own.
His advice, after making this mistake, went something like this .... Never leave your kids alone with a practicing, preaching JW. Last I remember hearing is that his kids still shun him.
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Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
crazyguy (very apt name) - the same could be said for putting your childern in a room of poisonous snakes.
"I wouldn't worry too much" - if they are bitten we can always get some anti-venom. Prevention is better than cure. Why expose them to a definite and proven danger?
lisarose - my, you even sound as though you could trust a jw even with the negative experience with your own daughter as an example. Why even suggest to someone else that it could be okay under different circumstances? You stated you wouldn't endure the problem again in hindsight, so why even consider it for another person? jws are to be trusted about as far as they can be thrown.
Cheeses.
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quellycatface
Just an idea but how about taking them to a Sunday School. They can HAVE fun there. Our church has all sorts of stuff going on - wish I could go!!!!
Then, as they get older, will see the difference in the 2 types of worship.
All the best.
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cofty
Don't trust JW grandparents with unsupervised contact. They think it is their god-given duty to indoctrinate your children.
Please pay no heed to all the suggestions in this thread that you indoctrinate them in a sunday school. Have fun, there are a million things you can do on a Sunday.
If you children want to become superstitious let them do it as adults.
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DJS
Ditto to Cofty's suggestion.
2 types of worship???? Really Catface? Aren't there a few thousand Xtian beliefs alone? And why limit the kid to Xtians? If you are going down that road why not attend Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist churches?
I suggest allowing them to be chlldren and choose for themselves when they grow up as to whether they want to be religious. Butterfly you don't seem to be driven by theism, just afraid of the Borg's brand of theism. Would some or a lot of grandparents/family respect your views and not try to indoctrinate your kids with JW crap? Yes. Based on the experiences you have related it doesn't appear your family will follow that route. They will likely use the time available to turn your kids into little Dub-bots. Teach your children decency, honesty, kindness, generosity and ethics. Those are the important things and they have nothing to do with religion. And use your Sundays going to the park, hking, to mseums, movies or to the mall with your children. Make memories..
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snare&racket
family is important. give them an opportunity to share time with your kids, but with strict rules not to preach or teach JW ideas to them at all.