My mother is losing her old personality

by Faithful Witness 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Bob_NC
    Bob_NC

    Faithful W......yeah, please give your mom some space on this one. I understand where you are coming from about her not replying and then having sort of a sarcastic bent when she did reply. But your mom is mid 70s, AND been sick and likely taking some meds for it, AND working too. I know it sounds like making excuses for her, but an email relationship can surely miss a lot.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    I think I wouldn't read too much into the email either; I'm old and overworked and tired too. To me it sounds OK, but you know her better so you're probably picking up on something we don't see.

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    I know it is hard, but go visit your mom already!!!!

    Don't borrow trouble. Just love her and see how you can help her through this-bring her some homecooked meals and go clean her house for her next weekend.

  • Faithful Witness
    Faithful Witness

    Thank you for your thoughtful comments. The differing reactions really make me think.

    This was only one email, and I'm not making more of it than it is... another straw.

    My mom is only 65.

    I have a wonderful life with my 2 young children, and my home and family is my #1 priority. We have moved on from the JW's, and I have kept my children away from the influence of the cult. They are sad to watch Grandma turn into someone they don't recognize, and they are pretty young to understand why she continually disappoints and breaks promises. We forgive her, and we pray for her together.

    Aging COULD be part of her behavior change. Yes, she is sick a lot more in recent years. She is only 65. Her mother was active and healthy into her late 70's. It is hard to watch your mother deterioriate and be manipulated by cruel men, and be helpless to do anything to stop it.

    I am not taking any of this personally, because it is not about me. It's not about my kids. Yes, I am hurt to lose my mom and the relationship I had with her for my whole life, but I am very far from "chasing her around." We see each other only several times a year.

    I am doing my best to keep a connection with her and help her to remember who she really is, not just who they are instructing her to be. She makes statements that indicate she has been completely indoctrinated, but then in the same conversation will express doubts. She can see the lack of love in the organization, and I will not give up on having a relationship with her.

    The idea to go and visit her and help her is a good one. I'm hoping she follows through on her new plan to come for a short visit this Friday. I'm not going to tell the kids, until I know she is on her way over to our house. She insists on making a show out of scheduling a visit and marking it on the calendar with the kids, but then she postpones or cancels. I'm not going to let her do that this time.

    Thank you to all who took time to read and respond.

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