Welcome sp74bb, Keep on venting about your feelings on JWN. In time your anger and emotions will subside and you will be able to enjoy life more.
I liked your plan to hold your head high and not look down when you met the JWs. You should be proud to be a "(Dangerous) Cult Survivor".
What other plans do you have to achieve your full potential? Do you plan to obtain additonal education/training to qualify for a well-paying career?
What kind of emotional/psycholoical help do you want to obtain to help you heal faster and better? Have you read any information by cult-exit counselors like Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Belieffs"), visited his website www.freedomofmind.com, and/or watched his FREE videos on his website?
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Robert