Mom is coming over tomorrow. What should I ask?

by Faithful Witness 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Faithful Witness
    Faithful Witness

    My mother is visiting us again tomorrow, only 5 weeks since her last visit. Things seem to be going pretty well with her, and the kids are enjoying having Grandma back in our routine. She is retiring at the end of May (age 65), so she promises that this is going to mean more time with family.

    As I continue to reconnect with her, we are enjoying creating new memories. The focus of her visits, are to have quality time with the kids.

    She invariably brings up some JW topic or question, and she will probably ask me about my new BS that just started. Since my elderette, Miss K, was scheduled to come tomorrow, that will be postponed again. (bummer!) Mom may also have magazines for me.

    I am considering mentioning to her that we have stopped attending the neighborhood Baptist church. It was not for this reason, but I was thnking of mentioning that one thing that bothered us about their practices, was the way they passed out pledge slips and asked us to commit to a set monthly donation. This did actually happen, as it did at the bigger Baptist church we attended for the 2 years prior to our leaving there. It seems that the bigger the church, the more they beg for money.

    Since I'm pretty sure she has not heard anything like this coming down from the GB at her KH yet, where they will be asking members to make commitments for monthly monetary donations, I'm hoping it will just plant a seed. When she hears how these churches are so boldly asking for money (constantly), she might protest (or just think to herself) how the JW's are different in that way. I won't start a debate, but make it more of an offhanded comment. I might quote scripture along with is, as I share with her our continued quest in finding truth.

    As we continue to heal our relationship and rebuild bonds with my family, I don't want to be antagonistic. If she asks me about my BS sessions with Miss K, I will probably mention to her that they are raising more questions, than answers for me. I know that my real questions are way too hard for my mom to handle.

    Instead of grabbing any opportunity to criticize the JW's, I plan to focus on how much fun I had talking with my sister the other night, and mocking and heckling the adults in the kids' music production. Family bonds are like nothing else, and it was so refreshing to be with my sister, without her judge and ruler along (her husband, who hates kid's stage productions... and I think he really just hates kids, except to be used as unpaid slave labor.. No, I don't have any bitterness toward him! Hahaha).

  • krejames
    krejames

    hi faithful witness. really happy for you that things are going well with your relationship with your mum. It sounds like you've got your head screwed on. Nice work and wishing you the best x

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Hi Faithful Witness, I feel that your ideas about focusing on rebuilding your relationship with your mother, pledging donations, and that your BS with Miss K is raising more questions than answering are excellant ideas. You're doing a fantastic job of trying to help your mother critically think for herself.

    The only ideas that I can add to what you wrote and that might be helpful to you are what I have already written. Be prepared to

    1. Overcome thought-stopping platitudes that your mother may use (or at least take note of them to overcome them later),
    2. Ask simple questions like Billy the Ex-Bethelite wrote about in exJW Psychology 102--How to Ask a Question When Questions Aren't Allowed,
    3. Practise/learn how to turn off your mother's cult personal,
    4. Help your mother's authentic persona become stronger by helping your mother get plenty of rest, eat well, get some excercise, make happy and fun new memories with her, and help your mother remember how she was (i.e., her wit) before she became a JW.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Faithful Witness... I think you have a very smart head on your shoulders, and you handle yourself very well.

    Planting the seeds about the "donations"... Brilliant!

    I do hope you have a good visit.

    (((Hugs))) to you dear sweet girl with a JW mom.

    LL

  • steve2
    steve2

    Your mother sounds like a very loving and caring woman. You sound very respectful of her, yet appropriately cautious. All the best - it would be great to give us updates when you can.

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Ask her what the definition of "soon" is.

  • Spectre
    Spectre

    I can't remember who said it but there was a big wig that said something like, "If we(wtbts) ever have to ask for money it shows that we don't have gods approval and we should just pack it in."

    If you were to dig that up and use that in your comment of why you're not going to the Baptist church...

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    You have learned much, grasshopper. I have nothing left to teach you.

  • nonjwspouse
    nonjwspouse

    Spectre, I believe Russell said something like that

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Ask your mom how the average jw expects to ever see or get into the kingdom for Jesus said you must be born again john 3; you must eat his flesh and blood john chapter 6 and not being part of the covenant means your sins are not forgiven Hebrews chapter 9 or 7. So again how do jws ever expect to get into the new world under or in the kingdom since I can find nowhere in the NT a way?

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