The first time I tried to leave, I left a long letter. I thought I had let everyone down, but I just did not want to carry on. I returned to get more stuff the next day, and he persuaded me to stay. He had no idea how unhappy I was, I had to give him a chance to make things right.
A year went by, nothing changed. More miserable than ever.
He went to the TMS and service meeting. I said I felt ill, stayed at home. Packed my bags, went to the phone box and called a taxi. Shut the front door behind me and never went back.
I still paid the mortgage for two months though........mug.
My parents were not impressed to find out 4 days after I left that he had no idea where I was, and had not bothered to tell anyone. I was only 22 then.
Still have the nightmares, but I think I have turned a corner. The last time I had a bad dream, I remembered in my dream that I was married to someone new and wonderful. Maybe I'll get to the point when I can dream my new husband in to kick his ass!