As your name suggests you are stuck in a rut. You are going insane as you need to take action. During the meeting you can formulate your exit plan, or formulate a plan to wake up your loved ones. Use the information provided at meetings as a springboard to your plan.
You can talk to your loved ones about the item. Ask them how they would tell a householder God protects his servants if they said
" but what about all those who are trying to be good Christians, serving God, who are not protected from harm?!"
If you frame it in a way that a householder says it, you can test the water. All your questions are valid and cannot be answered to give a truly satisfying answer. The meeting will be more bearable if you really listen and discuss the material in a critcal way. But you need to be careful if you don't want to be Df'd, so formulating an exit plan is important too.
There are many on the board here who have just stayed stuck in a rut for family and have learned to live with it, but it can be very lonely and stressful.
Take care Kate xx