Yes, it's easy to judge others, not so easy to be empathetic. So what if some exaggerate their illness to get out of the meetings and service? Maybe that is the only way they can get some time to themselves, can you blame them? It would be nice if they could just say they didn't feel like going to the meeting, but that's not acceptable in the cult. And that person you think is faking could really be sick, because being in a cult, where you have no control over your life can do that.
How Many Had Chronic fatigue syndrome?
by OnTheWayOut 43 Replies latest jw friends
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OnTheWayOut
I think Violia is taking this thread in the wrong direction.
I am not saying that its such a bad thing for one to say they are ill to get out of Bethel, meetings, service, any JW-related things.
Violia, again- please leave the thread if discussion of this sort is so sensitive to you. You admit the very idea of the thread in your own comments:
Who died and made you God so you get to declare someone a faker? Do you have extra powers so you can tell if someone is faking?
If I was in Bethel I'd say anything to be sent home.
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LisaRose
I get the point that you were making OTWO, which is that the fatigue and cognitive dissonance cause many JWs many to feel depressed and tired, but then a lot of people jumped in about the JWs they knew that were fakers, basically saying it's just excuse to get out of meetings and service. Those of us that have these conditions are a little sensitive I guess, because we heard it a lot when we were in the Borg, it hurts when others make assumptions that because we look good or have a good day now and then that we aren't really sick. The fact is these conditions tend to be cyclical, you can feel great one day and horrible the next. These are real conditions, not just an excuse.
But I think your original point is a good one, being a Jehovah's Witness is not a very happy way of life, and it can contribute to health problems. This is an all or nothing religion, you either do everything per the rules, or you will be destroyed at the big A. How many times did we hear that only whole souled devotion is acceptable to God? The fact is, you really can never do enough. Then, even if you begin to have doubts, you cannot express them unless you are willing to loose family and friends. I believe that this is what is behind the so many being sick, they are stuck and deep down they know it. Feeling sick on meeting nights may even be subconscious, the person may not even be aware that they have cognitive dissonance and that it is contributing to their health issues.
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blondie
I will add that you don't have to a faker to develop serious illness because of the stress and judging at the KH. many jws think they are physicians and can make diagnoses and give medical advice to others that need real medical help. I could write a book on all the alternative, undocumented, "medications" and "procedures" thno ey have heard, read about.
I can remember sister who was selling Herbalife (which I could not afford being a single regular pioneer) and said that I was a sinner because I would not use her products, that I wanted to remain ill and fail in my commission as a pioneer. Years later I was finally diagnosed with an auto-immune disease when I realized there were not cures for everything, and that prayer and every quack suggestion did not solve a thing. Even then the "DR" jws pushed their products and diagnoses on me...I had to go to the COBOE and have him stop it (his wife had cancer and they were all over her).
I agree with OTWO, using something to get out of an abusive situation, do it. The Bethelites I knew used the "oops" baby excuse or "I have to take care of my parents." I know a brother that built a mansion to house his parents in the future when they got older and ill (his parents and inlaws were in the best of health) parents who refused to live with him and made arrangements to stay in their own home (he had not discussed his "plan" with them). So every time he was questioned about his "mansion" he would say it was to have room for his parents.
I was once compared to a sister who had kidney disease, "she makes all the meetings, why can't you" approach. I talked to her about this and she was livid and went off to "adjust" that elder...........she explained that her family helped do everything at home, the shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, take her to the doctors, dress her, while I had to do all those things for myself (no help from my family).