by Leander 39 Replies latest jw friends
I would leave the "in good conscience" part in. It sends a clear message to them but not one that you can be "disciplined" for. Perhaps in the years to come, some of these men will appreciate what you really did and will one day choose to do the same.
Path
(and I think Blondie makes a good suggestion)
Path
Leander,
Welcome to the OTHER (not the DARK) side. The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step (just don't do like the guy below and spill your brains on the ground).
Michael
YERUSALYIM
"Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
[Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]
Leander - congrats hon! I'm really happy that your wife didn't blow over it. Please take note of Patio34s suggestion though.
Regardless of how the people at the hall react, I hope your home life remains peaceful and accepting.
hugs,
Mimilly
Congratulations Leander, you've done the right thing. But that doesn't mean things will get any easier, at least in the short term. Your wife WILL be hurting, and may be suspicious of your motives. Try to understand that she wants only the best for you. In her eyes, and the elders', you have given up the chance for everlasting life and returned to a world full of debauchery which will soon be destroyed.
Don't forget, there is NO honourable way of leaving the JW religion. You will be viewed as either weak or wicked.
I absolutely agree with Patio34, the first thing I thought of when I read your letter was 'uh oh, the elders will see the reference to not being able to serve in good conscience and assume that you've done something wicked.'
Don't hand them a pigeon hole to put you in, let 'em stew for a while and avoid detailed discussions.
All the best,
Dean.
From my experience your biggest problem will be maintaining your wife's respect. Your reactions to her fading respect may jade her love for you and exert pressure on your marriage. So be careful with her. JWs' are mentally unable to trust someone who disregards the "privledge" of a service position. This causes "estrangement" , a withdrawing of the emotions in the relationship. Hopefully, she has enough character to respect your conscience but keep in mind that she has been conditioned and is not in her right mind. Above all do not be angry with her, that will escalate estrangement.
Leander:
On my sixteenth birthday I told my father (PO) that I would not be going to the meetings ever again and I never stepped foot in the kingdom hall for another meeting since. That was over sixteen years ago and I am now the happiest person in the world. The Journey to real life has begun for you and I hope you enjoy it!
Beans
Please let us know what happens,, I am in a similar (fading)situation. I stopped going to meeting three weeks ago after an aweful meeting with two elders (gave me an ultimatum about breaking up with my boyfriend and picking up my service hours). I work full time and go to college and love my boyfriend so I said I couldn't agree to do everything they said. I've had phone calls and notes on my door but haven't replied (done nothing to get df'd)so I am just curious if they will try to get us to sign da letters or just call a time or two and let us fade.. Hopefully the later because I don't know about you but I won't sign and play their game ( have family in ). Looking forward to reading your posts,, Dawn
dawn - what have they tried to get you to sign?
also - you know they will blame you leaving the org on the boy friend - be prepared for that. And dont tell them about this web site, becuase you said you havent done anything to be disfellowshipped for - beware.
Thanks to everyone for all the kind words. I just walked in the door at home and immediately checked the board, I'm actually surprised that so many people check this site on the weekend. Its good to know that there are people out there who understand my situation.
Well like I mentioned previously I dropped off the letter at the POs house. The meeting is in progress right now so they probably won't go over the contents of the letter as a body for a few days. However my wife told her sister this morning that I was stepping down and her sister's husband is an elder so I excpect them to probably bring up my situation if not today within the next few days. I'm determined not to talk about my situation at all, I figure that they can't do much if I don't talk.
In the meanwhile I bought some fish and shrimp today and I plan on firing up the grill and doing some cooking. Then I'll spend the rest of the evening relaxing while watching a couple of movies I rented. Today I start enjoying my life without the threat of a Watchtower looming over my head.
