There certainly are a lot of external factors that can drag people down- such as family, employment etc. For me it was the fact that I was completely washed- up: I had to throw away everything I believed and start again- working through what was true & what wasn't, and whether my parents had led me astray as well- so it took humility and a willingness to learn- which I think is what is necessary. And sometimes, too I think just reason & rationality isn't enough- to have someone you really trust say 'This is BS- give it up!' can be the key to making a breakthrough to something better. LOL, that's my two cents, anyway.
What's the difference between exJWs who FLOURISH and those that don't?
by Fernando 22 Replies latest jw friends
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nancy drew
There's an interesting theory called set point of happiness. Some think that we all have a biological set point and events can temporarily disturb it but eventually we return to our natural state. So maybe that has some influence I don't know.
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factfinder
This is an interesting thread.
In my case my ill health, pain, financial situation have caused me to be in a much darker place then I was before learning ttatt,
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DesirousOfChange
FRIENDS.
If you can build a new network of friends, you won't feel so isolated when you lose the conditional friends at the Kingdom Hall.
FAMILY.
When you have family still "in", it's much harder to make a clean break of it all, thus you end up floundering half-in, faking it and knowing it's all a lie.
I would say those who really flourish, find new friends and have the circumstances where their family is not in, or their family is OK with letting them "fade" and don't make an issue of it.
Those who have the unfortunate circumstances where their family has disowned them, might actually also be able to move on and leave those family member behind.
Doc
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BluesBrother
Very often it is just the time and place that we are in right now. Most people have times in their lives when they experience problems and struggle . This board is here to allow them to vent and receive the support from people who at least understand the ex J W experience . Later on in life, hopefully, our problems work out and we begin to flourish.
Same person - different time.. I would not say that I have exactly "flourished" , not with family still entrenched in the movement, but there is no way that would or could go back now....
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Wasanelder Once
I think it relates to what extent the Borg defined your sense of being. If you are adrift after you will feel useless. Find a purpose and live happy in the knowledge that you are free to make decisions based on your own power of reason and experience.
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jam
Anne Frank "I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty
that still remains". For me a whole new world opened up after
I left the borg, a brighter world. A world full of potential, new
friends, unconditional love. The only reason why I post here,
to help others to experience that same joy and to pick up pointers
to help my family that is still in the borg.
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Giordano
Flourish: to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.
The WTBTS has done everything possible not to encourage the JW's to personally flourish. It is against all of their polices and admonitions. Everything is discouraged except for meetings, FS assemblies and studying the WT publications.
Time sacrifices make it close to impossible to flourish in a more healthy or vigorous way.
All JW's have a place and rank.......... 99.9% of them will stay in that rank until they die ......or better.......... .....leave.
One is most often ill prepared to be successful or flourish after years of being a JW. The adjustment period is difficult for most of us.
The bar required to be thought of as a great brother or sister is set at a level that takes very little skill or intensity to accomplish that goal.
The high skill level needed of the flourishing JW is the ability to conform.
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KateWild
The WTBTS has done everything possible not to encourage the JW's to personally flourish. It is against all of their polices and admonitions. Everything is discouraged except for meetings, FS assemblies and studying the WT publications.-Giordano
I agree, and pray of course.
The high skill level needed of the flourishing JW is the ability to conform.-Giordano
Yes correct conform without question. Listen, obey and be blessed.
Kate xx
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Vanderhoven7
I think the distinction "flourishing" vs "languishing" is probably most influenced by the level of loss...in terms of factors like time, faith, hope, family, ongoing rejection etc.