oh cr@p!! its my turn for "an elder called and wants to arrange a shepherding call" thread. Moral support please. (page 3)

MissFit

Thank you everyone for your responses and advice.

I guess there is still some lingering conditioning I need to work on.

In the past when an elder called, I would feel grateful that they cared, or guilty because I wasn't doing enough and needed extra encouragement.

I used to really believe that the JWs were the true religion. I would go to meetings and feel bad I wasn't doing enough. I had resigned myself to dying in the big A.

In fact last year after the last DC, I had resolved to do better, follow the instructions and have a better spiritual routine.

My daughter had attended the CA with me and was questioning the Genesis account of creation. I tried explaining then told her I would look it up when I got home. She looked at me and replyed: since you have been a witness so long, you should be able to explain it.

I felt very defensive, my daughter dropped the subject, but I thought about it all the way home. At home I got the creation book and read it to her. She was not impressed.

I decided I really needed to go back to the meetings and study more. The problem was I had missed so many meetings that I didn't even know what book we were in and I did not have a recent KM because when I did go to the meeting my elder never checks to see if I have my km and wt.

I didn't want to have to go around asking different elders for my study stuff, so I went to the internet. And here I am.

Now I really don't have anything to say to the Elders.

I just want to live my life. I realize I am not darned ( my phone won't let me use the other word) or condemned .

I do know that I will not meet with the elders. I just needed to read in black and white that they have no control over me. That is such a huge new concept for me.

Thank you.

KateWild

say that what you really need right now is money.....you'll never hear from them again.-ADCMS

It could go another way too. They may say she is not applying Matt 6.33. If she puts work as a lower priority, does more FS and donates more, more prayer, more study then Jehovah will provide. Some elders are really good with the "I need money" response. Then they may even say "we are so close to the end evryone needs money that's why we must stick to Jehovah's organisation now more than ever before"

Just ignore them MissFit, I think it's your personality.

Kate xx

Iamallcool

keep saying that you are busy, over and over, he will forget about you.

jgnat

You only have to defer until after the CO leaves. Blondie is an expert at firm and kind refusal. You could get your receptionist to screen the work calls. The audacity that he would call at work. Tell the receptionist that you are getting unwanted solicitation calls, and have his calls screened.

Quarterback

He shouldn't be calling you at work. Calls from your work line should only be used on an emergency basis. That you should definitely tell him to never call you at work again.

I would imagine that if they do schedule a visit, it will be wednesday night. Find something else to do that night, if you don't want to have that visit.

Aunt Fancy

I agree that you do not want to give them the control over your life because they controlled it for too many years. It takes courage to allow yourself the control over what you choose to do. Everytime you take that control back you will feel stronger and stronger. We faded also and we do not answer the door when they come by and do not return their calls. I think they have gotten the hint because we have not heard anything at all from them this year.

MissFit

I was surprised he called my work place. And then he acted surprised that I didn't call him right back. He had to ask me if I knew who he was and mentioned he was so-and-so's father.

I would have been more receptive if they had an elder I knew call and at least ask how I was and say they missed me.

But this guy was strictly business.

I will follow the great advice here and say a firm no thank you if he calls back.

I am still debating on calling him back and telling him no thank you.

flipper

MISSFIT- I agree with everyone else, don't meet with him. Elders just try and entrap you in things you say . You don;t owe the elders anything. It's especially disrespectful of him to call you at work. It shows how they minimize us making a living and maximize their own importance. Most elders are legends in their own minds. Miniature pope's walking about. Avoid, avoid, avoid I say. It will serve you well. Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

LostGeneration

If they do get a hold of you act really pissed about the call at work. Tell them your employer doesn't allow you to conduct personal business at work and it really was out of bounds for him to do that!

bennyk

"I will follow the great advice here and say a firm no thank you if he calls back.

I am still debating on calling him back and telling him no thank you."

If you feel you really must return his call, simply call and leave your message on his answering machine--

during one of the Kingdom Hall meetings... That way you needn't speak to him directly.

oh cr@p!! its my turn for "an elder called and wants to arrange a shepherding call" thread. Moral support please.

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